Lt. Cmdr. Data (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ltcommandroid) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
unknownseas2021-02-20 08:28 pm
ltcommandroid) wrote in unknownseas2021-02-20 08:28 pm
it is a funeral.
[Well. That was certainly something.
Emotions are clearly high, so for once, Data steps out of his helper role and takes on the brunt of organizing the after-trial gathering. He's seen enough of them by now to know what's what. He's also seen more than enough in this particular trial to decide that the bar, while possibly being the most logical location, may be distressing to some! So instead, we're gonna do something different. Data will deliver invitations, that sort of look like a computer printed them, to each of the rooms:]
Please come to the ice cream parlor if you would like company at this time.
- Data
[Everybody likes ice cream!
There are no decorations, but there are some snack selections from the buffet and the cafe, depending on what you want, and a tray or two of mixed drinks courtesy of Jimmy Buffett. Data and Parker are both here. If you're sad, you may pet Parker (probably). If you're too depressed to make your own fancy sundae, Data will do it for you (definitely).]
Emotions are clearly high, so for once, Data steps out of his helper role and takes on the brunt of organizing the after-trial gathering. He's seen enough of them by now to know what's what. He's also seen more than enough in this particular trial to decide that the bar, while possibly being the most logical location, may be distressing to some! So instead, we're gonna do something different. Data will deliver invitations, that sort of look like a computer printed them, to each of the rooms:]
Please come to the ice cream parlor if you would like company at this time.
- Data
[Everybody likes ice cream!
There are no decorations, but there are some snack selections from the buffet and the cafe, depending on what you want, and a tray or two of mixed drinks courtesy of Jimmy Buffett. Data and Parker are both here. If you're sad, you may pet Parker (probably). If you're too depressed to make your own fancy sundae, Data will do it for you (definitely).]
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I can't fix the parts of Ramona that are broken, in my case. I can't tie her down, even though all I want is for her to be right next to me. I can't fix anything by defeating her evil exes, but I keep fighting for her anyway. [He can't keep her from disappearing when things get rough.] She's her own person, and I think - I think a lot of the time my idea of her kept me from seeing that.
[Ramona Flowers is a deconstruction of the manic pixie dream girl, in this essay I will -]
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...Yeah. I guess that is kind of familiar.
[ Not the evil exes or anything, obviously — he's not even sure what that means — but maybe the rest of it is, a little.
He's quiet for a while, debating whether it's really his place to talk about Alice like this, especially with this guy he barely knows, even if... even if she's not going to be able to object to it now.
He sighs and turns the snowglobe upside down, watching the snow drift up into the sky. ]
She really hated the idea of ending up like her parents. She thought they died the way they did because they were too weak, so she devoted her life to getting all the power she could.
[ ... ]
I always wished she'd eventually be able to see that she didn't need to keep searching for it, because I was always going to be there and she'd never have to do anything on her own. But maybe I never would have been able to convince her of that.
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[In retrospect, now that he's had time to mull over every single thing Ramona ever said to him, he kind of understands what she was asking. She wasn't actually asking how he managed to get over Natalie. She was asking why she couldn't get over Gideon.
Maybe, if he had to do it over, Scott would say something about how it's hard to get over someone when they're controlling your life from a completely different country. That there's nothing wrong with being fucked up over Gideon.]
Some people can let things go. Other people can't.
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[ But it sucks to think that he never would have been able to be her knight like he wanted to. He still feels like he should have been able to give her what she needed, and that it reflects more on him as a failure than on her.
...She'd thought it was enough though, right? So he should try to focus on that instead. ]
I always thought I was pretty good at getting past things too, but... I'm not really sure how I'm going to do it this time.
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[Wallace Wells is a good friend, but he spends a lot of time scooping Scott out of his own wallowing.]
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[ His best friend was just... Alice. ]
I think it's just going to be up to me to pull myself out of it. But that's how she liked doing things, so... maybe that's best anyway.