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bathymetric) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
unknownseas2022-06-12 09:33 pm
bathymetric) wrote in unknownseas2022-06-12 09:33 pm
Week 1
Good morning, New Rapture. A new day is dawning.
There may not be much light to differentiate the days here, but the lights of the part of the city you're in change enough by the clock that you can almost believe there's a sun somewhere. It looks like Mayor Fontaine has no intention of going back on his deal, and for the time being? You're all stuck here. But there's plenty to do, and... maybe not plenty to see, but there's enough. There's something, at any rate.
Especially if you're willing to look beyond the surface.
And if you spend enough time around others, you might find something neat!
No matter what, it's time to start getting to know your fellow captives. You might be here a while.
MONDAY | TUESDAY | WEDNESDAY | THURSDAY
FRIDAY | SATURDAY
[ ooc: Welcome to the first week of Unknown Seas Round 3! We're very excited to have you. Please make sure to mark any investigation toplevels accordingly, and you can reach either Mayor Fontaine or Eleanor for conversations! ]
There may not be much light to differentiate the days here, but the lights of the part of the city you're in change enough by the clock that you can almost believe there's a sun somewhere. It looks like Mayor Fontaine has no intention of going back on his deal, and for the time being? You're all stuck here. But there's plenty to do, and... maybe not plenty to see, but there's enough. There's something, at any rate.
Especially if you're willing to look beyond the surface.
And if you spend enough time around others, you might find something neat!
No matter what, it's time to start getting to know your fellow captives. You might be here a while.
MONDAY | TUESDAY | WEDNESDAY | THURSDAY
FRIDAY | SATURDAY
[ ooc: Welcome to the first week of Unknown Seas Round 3! We're very excited to have you. Please make sure to mark any investigation toplevels accordingly, and you can reach either Mayor Fontaine or Eleanor for conversations! ]
Garden
cw:... foot fetish tomfoolery
[Dandy, who despises being ignored, Scooby-Doo scrambles after the (seemingly) older man. When the alien hunter yells, he screeches from his gut, cupping both hands around his mouth to further his, err... Volume projection.]
JERKYGUYTHINGAMAJIGGER!
[That's not even a real insult? It's a bunch of semi-insults rolled into one nonsense word?!]
If you don't 'fess up, I'm fillin' in the answer for ya. You've got a choice between BUNIONS, BARNACLE-Y BEHINDS, AND FEET!!!!
[None of these were on the original list minus the second, and that's a very specific example...]
AND I KNOW FROM EXPERIENCE THAT NUH-HOOOOOOOH-BODY LIKES A FOOT GUY!
no subject
okay. you know what. if he's not going to get rid of this guy otherwise.
he's going to wheel around and give him the business.]
I could simply tell you that it hardly matters who prefers what, but if you are intent on making this an issue, then so be it.
Tell me, do you truly believe in such a limited spectrum of appeal? The very premise of your question rests upon a false binary--and though I believe a perfectly acceptable answer is "both," I must ask you a question. You deny feet as a valid object of affection due to the fact that their admirers tend to be unseemly, and I will grant you this one point... but you have made an omission that betrays your true lack of taste.
[dandy may try to skip the cutscene. it is futile. it cannot be skipped.]
If we must be so reductive--if we must say that only one aspect of a person may be named the most overall attractive feature--it is not a diumvirate, but a triumvirate. The chest, the rear, and the thighs.
What is it that causes so many of those with carnal desires to deny the appeal of an aspect so deserving? One may claim that they are merely an extension of the buttocks, but that is a fallacy. They are entirely different beasts that must be given their own evaluation. After all, have the other two ever been used to crush a watermelon between them? It may be possible through some truly bizarre feats of anatomy, but I have no doubt that it was nowhere near as appealing.
The fact that you do not believe the thighs to be worthy of appreciation is a true black mark on your taste, and as such, your attempts to judge the tastes of others of our number are misguided at best. You are embarking upon a fool's errand, and it is imperative that you do not embarrass yourself further.
cw: not quite amputation but somewhat body horror-y
...But what if they don't have any legs?
[Can't the absence of a body part be applied to all the fleshy objects in question, here-]
It's just... That I've met a few extraterrestrial babes who've got tatas and badonkadonks, but, no legs! It doesn't really bother me, mostly 'cause I'm down to clown and carry them right around if they need it, but... Hah.
[He's also fairly certain that, since the universe is infinite and "people" or rather, various lifeforms, can be the size of entire planets... Dandy is sure that using the other two areas in question to crush a watermelon would in fact be possible.]
You make a compelling argument, Old n' Smelly, I'll give ya that!
Still... I dunno. No matter what, I think the ass is the first in the bawdy class, baby! Agree to disagree, I guess.
I'll just mark ya down as a thighs guy.
[On what list? The horny bastard roster?]
no subject
Even if I have a preference, I would not say the other two are unworthy or that the lack of thighs renders someone unattractive. I would still say the ananta of Gyr Abania are quite beautiful, though they have serpentine tails below the waist instead of legs.
...
Of course, I doubt the majority of them would have much interest in romancing men of other races given that they are all women and I am quite certain they reproduce asexually, but I am speaking purely in terms of aesthetics.
no subject
[Dandy doesn't register the most important aspect of this conversation, which is that these supposedly hot snake-ladies do not need men for any purpose at all. He is not a part of the equation, he is not invited, and yet...]
What would Frenchin' a girl like that even feel like? I guess it'd mean slappin' that fleshy meat flap in your mouth against some chick's clammy lizard tongue.
And honestly? That sounds awesome!
no subject
I think you would be more likely to get shot or stabbed, but perhaps there is a particularly curious ananta out there who might be willing to make an attempt...
[there's intelligence about people who consensually fuck dragons up in ishgard. maybe it could work.]
no subject
[Dandy continues prattling on because he can't for the life of himself remember the actual saying "Where there's a will, there's a way," and this is one of his horrendous ways of overcompensating.]
And if they won't? Well, then at least you've always got yer own willy.
no subject
no subject
Oh, you like hands, huh?
[That is not at all what was said here.]
Well, try this one on for size!
[Aaaand he flips Gaius off with both hands...]
What I do with my precious little fingies is none of your business.
no subject
no subject
[At the drop of the f-word, imagine a loud broken guitar string sound-effect, I'm pretty sure they couldn't say it in most Funimation dubs at the time-]
But I'm not an animal, Jesus Christ!
no subject
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[Once again, he is twisting the truth and therefore misinterpreting the dialogue entirely.]
If anybody's gonna be holdin' me close, I want 'em to have prettier arms!
If you wanna get in line, you're gonna hafta start paintin' your nails.
no subject
You absolutely do not have to concern yourself with the possibility that I may feel any attraction to you whatsoever. The probability was never particularly high, but it became an impossibility the moment you opened your mouth.
no subject
[And this conversation is completed (on Dandy's end) with a twirly-tongue-fart.
Wow. Well, these two are off to a terrible start...]