Funeral Service for Adaman and Hodaka Morishima

[giddyundertaker]

[ An hour or two after the first trial's end, Hild and the Undertaker set out to invite as many people as possible to the Restaurant for the funerals of our dearly departed friends.

Why the restaurant of all places? Because there aren't enough chairs and tables elsewhere.

Indeed, some of the tables have been moved against the wall to make room for the seats. The chairs have been set up in four rows of six, like an improvised theater or a church. To the side, a small buffet has been set up courtesy of Obi, Mafuyu, and Hild. As for the main event? Two tables have been set up and decorated in black fabric and white flowers. In lieu of a live viewing, two drawings referenced from the profiles have been set up in the center of funeral wreaths... They're not the best, due to the artist's handicaps, but it does look like Adaman and Hodaka at least.]

Comments

[hotpaprika]

Sorry.

[He says this automatically, flinching a little.]

I... I am just so tired of feeling so helpless. I have tried, so hard, and every time...

[He is cut off by Dandy parting his hair. Despite it all, he leans into the touch, sighing softly. There is a soft bump on Jonathan's head where he made contact with the floor, but luckily Dandy didn't do anything that won't heal with a few days of rest.]

I am truly sorry. I do not mean to seem ungrateful, I am so tired of being useless and nothing but a burden on everyone else.

[bootyhunter]

A burden? Come on!

[Dandy clearly doesn't believe this.]

Think of it this way- You wake yourself up in the morning and make sure to wipe your own ass! And even if there are a few days in this place that ya can't even manage to do that, who cares?

You're here! And so are the rest of us. It's not like anybody recruited us for this shit! There were no requirements! The only way we start bein' "burdens" or what-the-frick-ever is when we stop helpin' each other out.

We can't turn on each other- That's the most important thing.

Once everybody starts doin' that, then we're fucked! For damn sure.

[hotpaprika]

Y... you're right. There are still children here, cannot give up when I still need to protect them.

[There's a quiet moment.]

Thank you for not giving up on me, Dandy. I am truly sorry for my behavior this past day.

[bootyhunter]

Do yourself a favor and focus on keepin' yourself outta trouble first! There's plenty of grown-ups around here, so when it comes to people who're supposed to be babysittin', the brats've got plenty, baby.

[Himself included, but all of his attempts to corral the kiddies have been a complete bust.]

Okay! Yeah, alright. I forgive you, blah, blah, blah, blech!

[He sticks his tongue out! This is gross and sentimental, he doesn't want to be here... Not openly, not so obviously... no homo]

People make mistakes when they're messed up. It happens! And then ya move on. Y'know, like a normal person.

[hotpaprika]

I... I know. I'll try not to be so reckless in the future.

[He sighs.]

It's a tragedy that Fontaine has not provided us with steady access to alcohol here. I would do anything for some beer or a good glass of wine. I feel as though I would be much more tolerable if I were not sober at the present.

NSFW, V NSFW;;; i want to fly into the atmosphere

[bootyhunter]

You're tolerable enough!

[Well, sort of. Jon is being very whiny but the circumstances are pretty dire at present.]

Anybody with half a heart's bound to be bitchin' and moanin' after that fiasco, and you're, like, extra dramatic and stuff. So... Yeah.

[He sighs. Yes, that ice-water bag... Is just making everything wetter, rip]

What I wouldn't give for a shot of Gilgamesh Tequila right now, though.

Served on a platter with a side of Honey's perfect breasts… Boy! Do I miss BooBies.

[hotpaprika]

Oh, is Honey your sweetheart-?

-Uh

BooBies?

[That word does not sound super comfortable on his tongue.

Before he can get too hung up either way, however, he is drawn to the ice bag dripping onto his bed. He doesn't want to intrude but... he kind of likes the idea of not sleeping on a damp mattress.]

I'm terribly sorry, Dandy, but weren't you going to...?

[He points at the ice.]

[bootyhunter]

[...Right!!!! The Ice Cubes!!! The Ice CUBES THAT ARE NOW WATER...!!!!

He's going to pick up the sloppy goo in that bag and slap it with one hammy fist to the side of Jonathan's injury. It's mostly water. Poor Jon's faces is just going to be all wet.]

No.

[ALKSSLJDFDSA???]

Sure! She's a sweetheart.

But she's not mine.

[hotpaprika]

[... Yeah it would definitely be rude if he pointed out that this is barely helping, wouldn't it?

He instead just... gently removes Dandy's arm from his face.]

Oh dear... you're telling me you have an unrequited love?

[He looks at Dandy with sympathy in his eyes.]

[bootyhunter]

We're friends.

[SLAPS THAT BAG BACK AGAINST JON'S FACE ONCE MORE!!! EVEN HARDER! THIS IS CLEARLY A SENSITIVE TOPIC FOR HIM...]

She's my breast one!

[Is he delusional enough to consider her his best friend and did he have a Freudian slip? Or is that his actual term for it... It's probably the latter.]

There's nothin' unrequited about it.

[hotpaprika]

[He winces very slightly from the pain of the slap. It was a bag of water but his face was still somewhat sore from the hit earlier.]

... Your breast friend?

[What... does that even mean in this context? He could only interpret that as some strange way of saying soulmates which seems strange considering Dandy is insisting that they are not lovers.]

I suppose that's respectable... but you are truly single?

[He seems... baffled by the idea. Sure, the man was crass, but he was nice and attractive enough to land a loving wife, he was sure of it.]

THIS IS TH E TAG THAT HAS TRULY SIGNALED TO ME THAT JONATHAN IS DELUSIONAL

[bootyhunter]

[He removes the bag, but(t) alas...

Dandy's left eye is absolutely twitching.]

Don't rub it in.

BE NICE HE'S STUPID

[hotpaprika]

O-oh! I am dreadfully sorry, I didn't mean to insinuate anything, but...

You seem so nice, and you certainly have the looks to catch the eye of most passing women. It just surprised me.

1/2

[bootyhunter]

[]

2/3 i lied

[bootyhunter]

[The following line of dialogue is yelled so loudly, not just Nandor can hear it, but everyone. Everybody possible. The cry of the lonely pompadoured poophead echoes throughout all of new Rapture.]

YOU THINK I'D BE OUT HERE RUNNIN' MY MOUTH LIKE THIS IF I HAD A GIRL TO CALL ME BABY?!?!?!?!

[tbh he probably would tho? lmfao]

3/3

[bootyhunter]

[HE IS NOW ANGRILY STOMPING TO THE DOOR !!!! AND FIDDLING WITH THE DOORKNOB BC OFC IT IS FUCKING STUCK AND NOW HE IS UNCOMFORTABLE...]

[hotpaprika]

[Truthfully, he just figured that people in the future were more sexually open, like how apparently two men and two women can marry each other in the future.

In a rush, he gets himself off the bed and follows him.]

I-I'm so sorry! I did not mean to upset you! Please don't leave. I... I am truly sorry for the way I have been treating you tonight, I don't actually want to be alone right now.

[He gives Dandy the saddest look.]

[bootyhunter]

[That is absolutely one-hundred percent true, re: everyone from the future being sexually open, but that doesn't mean Dandy is getting any!

The surfing cosmonaut's nose curdles like spoiled milk, and he almost considers punching the doorknob, but this whole situation is his own damn fault. This isn't the Aloha Oe, and things are certainly not fine. The Undertaker's words from the other day are true- Any sign of violent behavior would not bode well for the future.

In all honesty, Dandy wants nothing more than to storm out of here and be left to his own devices.

...But where would he go? His room in this sunken place is nothing like his actual home: A bizarre, cluttered array of vaguely Hawaiian and titty-themed tchotchkes with only a couch and hammock for refuge. QT isn't here to constantly be vacuuming up his messes, and even Meow's routine uselessness is being sorely missed, although Dandy would never ever admit it out loud.]

I know, stupid!

'S why I'm here.

[Still muttering:]

You've really pissed me off.

[hotpaprika]

I am truly sorry.

[He looks hurt at the comment Dandy made, but he backs off.]

If... If I am only upsetting you, you are free to go. I do not want to make your evening worse than it already is.

[bootyhunter]

[Dandy is a cantankerous bastard on most days, quick to anger or throw hands over the slightest grievance. And yet, it is rare for him to experience the ugly kind of fury that's past the point of petty foolishness. Jonathan might as well have squirted lemon juice into one of his eyes.]

You're not the only one suffering in here.

You think I don't hate this place?

[He tilts his chin towards the ceiling. There is no sky full of stars above them, only water. So much water that Dandy suddenly thinks he can feel the weight of it all crashing down on him, like a one-two punch from gravity and salt, pulling him towards the center of the Earth and filling his lungs all at once.]

I've had plenty of girlfriends.

[Oh, several.

He speaks with an air of resigned weakness, doing his best to ignore the many, many, many images flashing through his mind. Each and every woman he's ever felt some string of passion for, parsed throughout the millennia, most of their faces blurry and their silhouettes dimly traced in black... They're being revived within his psyche, and worst of all?

He can't remember which one, for the love of god, got the closest to returning his feelings.]

It's just that none of 'em have ever worked out.

[hotpaprika]

[Jonathan listens, feeling absolutely sorrowful for this man. He truly believed it when he said that Dandy is an attractive, kind man. And seeing him admit this, looking almost uncharacteristically melancholy, made his heart ache for the poor man.

There is a split second that worries about what he's about to do. After all, he just told Dandy he could leave, and he doesn't want to make him feel obligated to stay. But... he needs to show Dandy that he cares, that Dandy deserves love, platonic or otherwise.

Jonathan leans forward and tightly wraps around Dandy in a tight hug.]

I'm sorry, Dandy, you deserve love, and... while I might not be able to provide the love you want, I will be here for you.

cw: this may not necessarily be homophobia but i find this reaction homophobic

[bootyhunter]

Get off me. You're not my type!

I don't want your love. Your love can go die in a big, dumb ditch! Just be my friend or whatever.

[He says this, all while offering little to no resistance to that embrace. Dandy does wriggle though!]

You said you didn't wanna be alone. So that means we talk about somethin' else!

Pick a topic, any topic! But from here on out, my relationship status is off-limits unless I say it's not, ya hear?

[hotpaprika]

S-sorry! I didn't mean it like that-!

[His face absolutely flushes at that, and he backs away. He tries to think of any other topic before "relationship" jumps out at him.]

If... if it's any comfort, simply being away from Mina is not the sole reason why I miss her so dearly. Do not get me wrong, I love her more than anything, and it's why the rest of it pains me so.

I have told you that we had not gotten married. It... it hurts so much because I was awaiting the day when I could afford to give her the wedding we deserved, so give her the best night after there ever was. [He pinches the bridge of his nose, trying to stop tears from coming again.] Dear God, I wanted so badly to try being a father.

[Basically what he's trying to say is that he hasn't fucked Mina yet.]

[bootyhunter]

[can u fucking believe he's actually going to be mature about this shit for once... sort of]

So you two never...

[Dandy mimes the gesture of putting a single finger into a hole.]

...Yikes.

[Some time passes before he speaks next.]

Well, hey...

I know things seem glum, chum! But bein' a baby daddy isn't outta the question just yet! You're still here. Alive and kickin'! And whiny, baby. Yeesh.

I know you'll think I'm nuts for holdin' onto the idea that there's still a way outta here, but... There's always a chance that things'll change for the better.

Even if it's tiny. Don't let go of it, though- Then that slim chance goes buh-bye.

[hotpaprika]

[Jonathan shakes his head, looking away meekly.

But Dandy starts encouraging him and he snaps back to look him in awe. He had been downright childish in the way he's been acting, and yet here Dandy is trying to encourage him.

A part of him wants to point out that Dandy told him to change topics and it wasn't like he was about to start talking about a book he's read in a situation like this, but that's not the point right now.

He gives Dandy a gentle smile.]

... You're right. As long as there's someone alive here, we cannot give up hope for an escape, and find a way to stop Fontaine.

I will be stronger for you guys, I promise.