but even if the stars and moon collide [afterparty]

[allatonce]

[Well, that sucked!

After about an hour, invitations written in colorful ink appear under everyone's doors.]

Understandable if you're not up to it, but we're having a memorial and "don't wanna be alone" hang-out in the restaurant again.

[The restaurant has very much been decorated with the most rainbow fabric she could find in the department store. Jonathan got roped in, mainly so she could make sure he was doing okay, but also because she assumed that he knew how to put a tablecloth on a table. He seemed like the type, anyway.

After consulting with Undertaker, most of the food that's been set out is more traditional Chinese funeral food than Victorian—you can get a whole roast duck in the restaurant—but she tried for a mix of things. There is fruit, the aforementioned roast duck, and several vegetarian dishes along with potatoes for some reason and... cookies? Okay then.

Joy's trying, because that was way less terrible for her than it was for basically anyone else.

Happy Pride Wrath, New Rapture!]

Comments

[visiblepattern]

...I suppose that's true.

[He's quiet for a moment once that's out there, though.]

I'm not really used to being surrounded by people that are important to me. Joining the army was a recent development; before that, I was just...alone, a lot of the time. Looked after by servants, not particularly cared for by anyone. I was more of an obligation than anything.

That isn't to say they weren't kind, because they were. It was just...different.

[fuckingguy]

[ Nandor actively listens to this, occasionally nodding. He set himself up to hear Forrest's personal feelings! He's going to relentlessly see that through! Everything is fine and this is a normal thing he definitely does!

It helps, of course, that he can connect to what is being said. ]

Yes.

[ People in such a position care for you either because they want something in return, or because they must. And Forrest has mentioned his father not approving of him, so chances are high family was not exactly meaningful, either. ]

I do not have to tell you how it goes, on the battlefield. Not the greatest place to make your first real friends... but also, sometimes, it is the best place? Perhaps it is different in Nohr.

[visiblepattern]

I met my wife there; her parents are from Hoshido, so chances are that were it not for this army we've put together, I would never have met her at all.

I wouldn't give up the people I've met on the battlefield for the world... At the same time, everything is different there. Everything is constantly moving; we don't have much time to just...sit and mourn the ones that are gone like this.

[fuckingguy]

[ He folds his hands into another dumb little steepled-in-front-of-him configuration. ]

Death, eh — tends to bring humans closer together. But without a path towards retaliation, it's gonna be hard to use that. Instead, you are making all these friends, and they are being cut down by an untouchable enemy. And now it is becoming a routine.

[visiblepattern]

...Yes, exactly.

It makes me want to just...shut myself away somewhere and never come out. I hate it.

[He's not usually this blunt about it, but here we are.]

[fuckingguy]

[ He exhales through his nose for a considerable time. ]

I would like to say to you, "it will get better." But that is a lie I would not insult you with. You will continue to hate this for a long time.



... Honestly, I am not sure why I just keep on telling this shit to you? It has never been my way, to speak freely of these matters... nonetheless.

[visiblepattern]

[Oh, that's...]

For what it's worth, I'm still grateful to hear it. I appreciate it a good amount, Nandor, thank you.

[fuckingguy]

[ There's a beat where he looks down at his own awkwardly folded hands, before saying: ]

Yes.

Just do not stay in your shut-up place forever, please. I know we are all being very open and supportive here, and not leaving the room when we see someone having a crisis... but you must be in the same room with other people at least sometimes for that to matter, is the thing.

[visiblepattern]

[Oh.

...That's weirdly sweet, Nandor.]

I'll bear that in mind, I promise.