I have died every day waiting for you

[lovelikeyou]

[That was, in Rose's opinion, even worse than last week. Any loss of life is an awful waste, but for it all to come of some horrible accident...

This week, she doesn't retreat back to her room. She knows now that the people here, or at least enough of them, like to gather after these experiences. Many of the Crystal Gems were the same way; she remembers their post-battle huddles well. It's not a party, really, but...it's good to be together. To have friends around. Maybe, to remember those who were lost.

So this time, she'll go to the cafeteria herself and request some food for everyone. It's just basic snacks, the kind of human food she knows well enough to ask for. There's some hot chocolate provided, too. She definitely knows people enjoy that. It doesn't take too long, since she isn't making most of it, and then she goes to invite everybody she can find.

She doesn't slip any notes underneath doors, for the people she doesn't happen across. Some Crystal Gems didn't join the groups, or maybe did after one battle but not another. Sometimes they wanted to be alone. She never really understood that...but it wasn't her place to tell them otherwise. Weren't they all about freedom?

Everybody probably knows something like this is going to happen again, anyway. It's their choice to come.]

Comments

[lovelikeyou]

I didn't really notice.

[Rose, of course, also not tending to show up for regular mealtimes.]

Are you afraid of poison, too?

[fivestagegod]

Something like that. It's just kind of bad practice where I'm from.

[lovelikeyou]

Mmmm. Della said something to me about that the first day.

[Not that Rose could have been poisoned, either way. She doubts she could have even told the difference and warned anyone else.]

I never think about things like that. But it does make sense.

[fivestagegod]

No, I get it.

[...]

I wasn't trying to argue with you back there, you know. And I'm not all mad at Nira, either, for the record.

[lovelikeyou]

...I'm not angry at you, either.

[If she doesn't look up to meet his eyes as she says it, well, it's not for lack of honestly.]

I just wish...I don't know. I know it's hard on everyone, but we're all so...different. [She wishes we could all get along.] And I know I haven't been helping, either.

[fivestagegod]

It happens, I guess.

[He shrugs.]

Either way, I'm not going to be nice to people that are trying to kill me. That's just going to have to be how it is. I'm not going to die here so someone else can get something out of it.

[lovelikeyou]

I think she would have confessed, if we hadn't been able to figure it out. After that...I can't blame her for being scared.

[Rose doesn't know what it is to be shocked, but that seemed terrible.]

[fivestagegod]

Maybe she would've. But my own survival isn't something I'm willing to take chances with.

[lovelikeyou]

I suppose that's fair.

[.......]

I've never killed anything organic before. [...] Well. Not directly.

[fivestagegod]

...I can't really say the same, actually. Even with directness taken into account.

Even so, what the Professor did to her was messed up. I'm not going to forgive him for that, either.

[lovelikeyou]

Gems are parasites. The areas we were grown in on Earth are still barren.

[Rose being the way she is, she assumes Birkin's talking about killing a bug or an animal or something. A thing that would upset her, but which humans need to do sometimes. She doesn't blame them for that; all organic things have to eat.]

He could just kill us. He doesn't have to do things like that.

[fivestagegod]

[He works in a virology lab. He's killed a lot of organic things, really.]

...He wants us to feel like it's our fault. Like we're doing it on our own. It's part of the process.

[lovelikeyou]

I know.

[Doesn't really stop it from working.]

It's all rigged against us. If he can't find something to threaten us, he just does things like this.