mira delacroix (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
philoxenia) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
unknownseas2020-05-02 03:15 pm
philoxenia) wrote in unknownseas2020-05-02 03:15 pm
What I want to hear on nights I can't sleep is your voice
[ ... Well, that was an absolute shitshow, wasn't it? Instead of dwelling on how she feels about everything that just happened, Mira's channeling that energy into something else--and she has a little bit of help doing it. Zerinda and Ema are here in the bar to make drinks, and Mira's brought in a ton of food that's definitely not healthy for anyone, but screw it, who cares about health right now?
Della's here to pass out invitations, too--they let everyone know there's a gathering in the bar, if they'd rather not be alone.
If you choose not to come, well... Mira's got that taken care of, too. She'll place a little container of cookies and hot cocoa outside your door. Maybe it'll help someone feel a little less alone--at least, that's what she's hoping. ]
Della's here to pass out invitations, too--they let everyone know there's a gathering in the bar, if they'd rather not be alone.
If you choose not to come, well... Mira's got that taken care of, too. She'll place a little container of cookies and hot cocoa outside your door. Maybe it'll help someone feel a little less alone--at least, that's what she's hoping. ]
rhea's room
It sounds like a beast in pain, honestly, and maybe that what it was. Except it stops for a brief moment.]
W... who's there?!
[Sorry, Mira...]
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She clears her throat. ]
It's Mira. I brought you something, if you needed to eat or drink.
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...Thank you, Mira. If you said something, I am afraid I did not hear you.
[She's... tired and honestly, now that Mira's face to face with her those circles under her eyes are pretty obvious. Seems like mom hasn't been getting sleep.
This is fine.]
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I'm sorry.
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[In the end everyone left. Her mother. Her sisters, her brothers...all those nieces and nephews. Indech. Macuil. Wilhelm. Sitri. Aelfric. Jeralt... Now even Seteth... she knows it wasn't the Seteth that was waiting home for but did it matter? Would she go back and find that while she was plotting he had fallen from his wyvern or that their enemies captured Flayn again? Maybe Edelgard had murdered them both before the ritual.
Maybe the Professor was lying and he had just slaughtered the entire monastery. He had no reason to tell the truth. It was irrational to trust him but was it rational to distrust him? She didn't know. There was the ritual but that would fail.
If she couldn't even bring back the goddess then... what? What was she even good for? Spitting out sentimental nonsense she wondered if she even believed? She chokes.]
You did nothing... [This was why her path needed to be solitary. Everyone always left. Maybe she deserved it. Maybe she was a victim. Maybe it was both. There's a moment and she just falls into that hug.]
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It's complicated. There's no denying that. But it doesn't change that Mira cares about Rhea. Maybe she's always felt too much, too easily, too deeply, but right now, she's glad for it. Maybe it can help Rhea in this moment. ]
I'm here, Rhea.
[ She isn't sure if it'll help... but she hopes it will. Sometimes, you just need a reminder. ]
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She should be ashamed of her weakness.]
She's not coming back, I know it. I know it and yet... [She takes a deep breath.] I am just letting another bandit slaughter us mindlessly.
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No-- Rhea, no. [ She shakes her head fiercely. ] This is not your fault. None of the blame is on you. You aren't the one giving us these motives. You aren't the one forcing us to take part in this-- this stupid game.
It's horrible, to feel so powerless, but none of this is your fault.
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[Maybe she should have killed someone, that damnable Birkin maybe, and turned herself in. That would have been better would it not? Yet all she could feel was the powerlessness she felt all those years ago, watching that man revel in destroying what he saw as nothing but beasts.]
Seteth was a better saint than I ever could be... I might not be responsible but--Goddess, I...
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[ She holds her tighter, still rubbing that circle against her back. ]
... I'd like to tell you something. I've made... a lot of mistakes. More than I can count. And one-- it resulted in tragedy. Maybe... maybe that wasn't entirely my fault, but it certainly feels like it. I think we might be the same in a lot of ways... where it feels like the weight of our mistakes might crush us.
[ Losing a loved one, a brother... it's never, ever easy. Mira's carried that since she came here. And still even now, she hasn't been able to truly reconcile it. Therion's words the other night, at least, had helped her somewhat.
But it's still so painful. ]
... But I've gotten to know you. I've-- I care about you, Rhea, and I've seen how good you can be. You've helped me more than I can probably ever, ever say. I don't think that's a fluke. [ She squeezes Rhea a little tighter, then looks up at her firmly. ] I can't say if Seteth was a better saint than you could be... but I think you could be incredible, too. Because you-- you aren't just your mistakes.
I know enough to know that.
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[Zelos was a vessel but... so was Byleth. So was poor Sitri who looked at Rhea much like Mira did. Full of hope and love. Yet what happened to her?]
The story of the Chalice of Beginnings... that was me. I asked them to try to bring back Mother. Yet I kept trying and trying and it never worked. Seteth... he just wished to protect his daughter. If I had not kept looking at the past then maybe...
[They both made terrible mistakes. Horrible, awful mistakes. Yet Mira was so young compared to her... she could live and grow.] Saint Seiros is supposed to be the righteous blade of the Goddess. The one who protects and guides Fodlan. What am I but a woman who clings to the memory of her mother?
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It's a lot to take in. The pieces were there, but she just needed to connect them. The Chalice, the Scroll... Even so. Maybe she's foolish for what she says next, maybe it makes her naive and too optimistic, but-- ]
... I don't think anyone is too far gone. It-- it may take more effort for some than others, but I think it's still possible to change. I don't know if I'm allowed to say such things, but... even if your actions led to hurt, I think it's not too late. You can still look forward. You may have much to atone for, but... you won't be able to until you stop looking over your shoulder.
[ She frowns. ]
Besides... I don't think someone who wasn't a good person would have comforted me the way you have, Rhea. I might not have my power anymore, but I can feel that much.
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Perspective is hard to look at even when you are absolutely sure in your ideals.
The words had been spoken in comparatively a short amount of time yet... it felt like an eternity ago. Had her mind been so weak when she first arrived here? Were the old injuries too much? It was possible. Maybe she wasn't as strong as she thought she was.]
I did not speak with my brothers, not even Seteth, for such a long time... I was alone. One hated humans so much he moved to the harshest wilderness to get away. The other sank to the bottom of a lake. [He turtle so it's okay.] Seteth was watching his daughter... it was just me. They left After we lost everything, I was the one who stayed. I helped Fodlan pick itself up. I formed the church. I... thought if I kept pushing forward then perhaps I could regain something of what was lost. Even if I lied during the trial I know that Mother will not return.
[Seteth had said it. It would be a failure. Don't even try it. Live for the present, not the past.]
I know that I cannot erase my path but... I do wish to help others down theirs.
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That hits her hard, and she draws in a breath. Mira hugs her close again, her heart aching for Rhea. She thought she knew loneliness--and she does--but it's nothing compared to Rhea.
It's easy to lose hope, isn't it? But what Rhea says... ]
... It takes strength to want to help others after being hurt, Rhea. [ She pulls back and takes her hands. ] It'll be tough, but... I believe in you, okay? You're not alone now. Not as long as I'm here with you.
I-- refuse to let you feel lonely like that again. Maybe in a place like this, it's foolishly optimistic, but as long as I'm here, I'll be with you.
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...Thank you, Mira. I know I should not burden you so but... I am glad for it. So very glad.
[This may curse Mira but she must say it.] You.. you remind me of someone. Sitri. [She pauses.] She... She was one of my daughters.
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[ That... does something to her. Mira takes in a deep breath before she looks at Rhea. ]
You-- you really mean that?
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[This is one of her gravest sins but this is where she does believe she did better than whoever that person Zelos cursed.]
She was not human nor Nabaetan but she loved all the same. She put her heart into everything she did and eventually found a loving husband. I see that spirit in you.
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And that Mira reminds her of one of those beloved daughters... She remembers the conversation she'd had with Della, not too long ago. About mothers and their children. ]
I... I certainly try. [ Geez, she can feel the tears coming on, but she tries to not let them spill over... ] You have a lot of love in your heart... I can tell. It's something I've noticed more and more, the more we get to know each other.
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Perhaps there is a chance for me yet.
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[ It's nice, being able to hug her. Warm--not just because Rhea runs warmer than she does. ]
I can keep an eye on you, if you're worried.
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[It... feels nice like this. Almost normal. Despite the fact that they are two messes hugging it out it in the lounge. Hopefully everyone is getting drunk.]
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