I tried to get through to you

[archboxer]

[You know what that was? A fiasco. That was an utter fiasco. Three more people gone on a chance that may not happen! This is horrible. Even if some people dislike her, Rhea... is up to the challenge once more. This time she does it nearly herself: writing out the invitations, ordering the food and telling everyone to meet at the bar. In Ema's honor, of course.

She hands out the invitations herself and if she can't find you, she'll slide yours under your door.]

Comments

[nothingcanstop]

[ ...Hey, Jasper. Della...pours some Fireball. ]

She actually came and talked to me after you. It's... Ugh. It was confusing. Chainsaws and swords can just sometimes be the same thing, apparently.

[hardnosed]

[ Ooh, good idea, she's just gonna get on that and top off her own garbage drink after Della finishes up. ]

... Most of what was going on in her world sounded like that. But confusing isn't the word I'd use.

[ Stupid. It sounded very, very stupid. ]

Do you hate her?

[nothingcanstop]

[ Welcome to the Feel The Burn club, Jasper. ]

Do I...hate her?

[ The question clearly surprises her. She frowns, having to actually think on it for a moment. ]

...No. No, I... I don't think I do. But, I can't really say I like her, either.

[hardnosed]

I don't think she wanted to be liked. It would have made things easier.

[nothingcanstop]

I don't really think so either. [ Della sighs. ] It all seems a bit like a waste, to me.

[hardnosed]

It was.

She put all that energy into trying to get away with it, she set us all back — for nothing. Didn't she get how much she was gambling with?

[nothingcanstop]

It sounds like she didn't think she had any other options.

[hardnosed]

Then she should have done better.

[ And killed all of them! She finally drinks from her huge glass, and makes about the expression you'd expect before clearing her throat. ]

... I get why she did it. But I can't accept her failure.

[nothingcanstop]

...That's what you're hung up on? That...she didn't succeed?

[ Della's eyebrows knit together. ]

We all would've died, Jasper.

[hardnosed]

But we would have died for something. And what happened instead? What did Ema and Shelley die for?

[nothingcanstop]

...They wouldn't have died for something either way. We can't know if the Professor would make good. Or, if it would've actually fixed her problems. And...

[ Sitting a bit taller. ]

And I'm sorry...but I don't want to die for anyone else's cause. There's too much, too many people waiting on me. I want to live, to help where I can. That includes everyone here, too.

[hardnosed]

[ She watches Della make her declaration with... well, it's not like she's experienced any shortage of much shorter beings talking back to her, even if the typical reaction is cowering, so she can't be reacting to sheer novelty. Maybe it's actually interest. ]

Don't get me wrong. I'm not gonna die here. I don't think he has any interest in delivering, and at this point, I don't even know if he wants us to lose. [ So what? What was she even trying to say? It's clearly that losing in metaphorical battle would be preferable and definitely not that she's trying to articulate a feeling of loss over two people she was okay with! ] ... Whatever. The people waiting on you. That's your family, isn't it?

[nothingcanstop]

[ Honestly, she expected more spitfire back, so she's...a little pleasantly surprised. This is probably what leads to Jas-- ] ...Yeah. My uncle, brother, and three kids. [ She takes a sip of the absolutely burning drink in front of her, gulps it down, and sighs. Mmm, just like the old days. ] I was...away from them for a long time already, so... I don't want to keep them waiting too long again.

[hardnosed]

[ oh, she's made a huge mistake ]

How long?

[nothingcanstop]

[ uh oh!!! ]

Ten years. [ A moment passes. ] ...It probably would just be the blink of an eye to you. But, we don't...live as long. Even with some magic or something, it's still...a lot, to be away from them. Leaving them with no idea when I'll see them again.

[hardnosed]

[ Della's right to think she doesn't have the context for this. She only knows what a family is because of her, and ten years... well, a lot can happen in ten years, but historically, for Gems, it usually doesn't.

But she knows how short life on Earth is. She knows how Della, inexplicably, thrives on togetherness. Whatever loss she felt before must be just as bad now. ]

He's already tried to use it against you.

[ A question. ]

[nothingcanstop]

...Yeah. [ It barely feels like something she has to confirm. ] Yeah, he did. He gave me the option to wipe away the mistake I made.

[ But... Well. She already talked about her feelings on that. ]

[hardnosed]

... Sorry.

[ There it is, the first apology she's given to anyone here (possibly anyone.) Fittingly, it's got nothing to do with any of her actual conduct and numerous fuckups! ]

It's probably bad enough that it happened in the first place. He doesn't have the right to bring it back like that.

[nothingcanstop]

[ Oh. Something about that, from Jasper, makes her heart clench. Maybe it's that this week was just...a lot, a difficult slog knowing there was no stupid reason to throw away everything she suffered through, when she wouldn't even get to live the life she'd dreamed of. Not really. ]

...Thanks. For saying that. [ Della exhales, slowly. ] He's been dredging up a lot that's got...nothing to do with him, here, any of that. But, then... That's just his MO, isn't it? Dragging things into this that we've already spent our time thinking on.