into each breaking wave

[thisaroma]

[ Well, that was — no pun intended — unfortunate. ...But in light of what they already saw happen the first two weeks, maybe it's not really that surprising, either; and maybe it's at least a little easier to recognize when something is going to be a lost cause, if not necessarily to accept it.

In spite of everything, this is the first time Decus has been in a halfway decent mood after a trial, which he can gather is... probably not the case for most of the rest. So he figures he can take on the party host duties for this week rather than push it onto someone who needs a break. Anyway, he wants to keep up this feeling-okay thing for as long as he can, and if he has too much downtime and starts to think about what happened a week ago today... he might end up a little less okay.

So, he brings some food down to the buffet from the cafes for a little variety (even though most of them probably aren't going to be too picky at this point), along with some tea and cocoa from Starbucks and a few harder options from the bar, and gets that all set up in as welcoming an arrangement as he can manage. And...

Well. Despite how he may come off sometimes, he actually is self-aware enough to realize that some of the others might not appreciate being reminded that he's still alive when three people who'd never had any intention of killing are dead. It doesn't really bother him, but he doesn't want to create unnecessary drama, either; so he doesn't put his name anywhere on the invitations he puts up around the place, just a simple:

food and drinks at the buffet

...Which is almost always the case, technically, this past week excluded, but hey.

And while he might come by to offer a drink or something to someone who looks like they need it, he's mostly going to hang back and let everyone do their thing. ]

Comments

[paucipan]

[For what it's worth, Plumeria listens. She wonders, inwardly, if Zero meant to tell her any of this at all; he clearly doesn't want understanding. He doesn't want friendship, and yet...he's doing all of this. Inwardly, she just wonders if he's the biggest contradiction in the damn world.]

...Whoever did that to them deserves everything they get from you. No less than a death most painful.

But I doubt you need me to tell you that.

[It feels silly to say, really.]

I still think what you're trying to do to yourself is only going to hurt you more in the long run. [...] Even so, I can understand wanting to protect someone like her; she sounds pure-hearted. A world where someone like her would be able to live in peace...it sounds like a lovely dream to strive for.

[...]

Will there be anything left of that brother who's fighting for her future, if you continue to destroy yourself?

[Plumeria doesn't know Nunnally, and she's not going to pretend that she does. But even so, she's not backing down from calling him heckin' stupid.]

[jibunwo]

[Something had clearly snapped in his head; whether the masquerade was backfiring or he just realized Plumeria of all people might see what his purpose was, Zero didn't seem to regret what he'd said. If anything, his temper had even cooled off significantly somewhere along the line.]

I chose my path a long time ago. Maybe I won't live to see the world I create, in the end--even if I do, the things I've done to attain it can't be forgiven by someone like Nunnally. I accept that, no matter what others may think of my actions or motivations. She still has a knight to protect her, someone who can live through what I may not be able to.

[Or maybe he really was just that much of a contradiction; hiding beneath two masks, neither of which were his real self. In a situation he couldn't control, it might just have been that the pressure had cracked both of them at once.]

Surely you understand. Can you truly say you wouldn't risk destroying yourself for the sake of the one who means everything to you?

[paucipan]

[One can only wear so many masks before they all start to fall apart on the floor around one. Plumeria listens, though. He's done that many unforgivable things, huh?

Plumeria hates to say she can understand that, somewhat. Even if the unforgivable thing she did in her family's case was exist. Even so, Plumeria's answer is firm as ever, though not rudely spoken.]

...I've done so before, for Lady Freyja. I gave my life, my very being in order to try and stop the humans who invaded our realm and tried to stop her. It's only by her will alone that Triandra and I were able to be revived, after I failed, and up until I was brought here...I was going to be meant to live with that failure, until she and I could find a solution.

I understand such a thing better than most.

[She pauses at that, though she looks directly at Zero once she finishes saying that much.]

...I won't deny that I would do so again in a heartbeat, if I felt it necessary. [...] But I also know that doing so heedlessly could hurt Lady Freyja, in the long run. And...ugh. Maybe there's a few of you mortals here who I don't want to disappoint either.

[please ignore the tsun]

...The point I'm trying to make is that if you do so heedlessly here, it's not going to accomplish anything close to what you want. And that Captain's probably going to enjoy it. Is that something you really want?

[jibunwo]

Of course I don't want that. But I know myself, and I know that my judgement can be...flawed, when it comes to a situation where Nunnally might be in danger.

I don't know what it is I'm trying to say. Maybe just that...whatever happens, I don't want him to win.

[paucipan]

...Then don't let him win by letting him get under your skin. I know myself pretty well too, and I know my own would be flawed if Lady Freyja were in such a situation.

It's okay not to know. But you're not going to be alone for it.

[If only because Plumeria knows one thing, and that's apparently how to be stubborn as hell. Probably not how she should be trying to be a better person but it's...something...???]

1/2 because you deserve this and you know it

[jibunwo]

Right. I have to get through this for Nunnally's sake, and I want to keep as many of us alive as possible on the way there. All we have to do is coexist, as disorganized as we are. We've gotten this far, at least.

[jibunwo]

[He paused, considering something in brief silence. Glancing off to the side, and then back to Plumeria.]

...It's Lelouch. I can't tell you my real surname, but otherwise my name is Lelouch Lamperouge.

[paucipan]

[Attaboy. Plumeria finds herself smiling, at least slightly.]

Lelouch. I'll remember that, then.

And I don't doubt you will. We're all a bit of a rag-tag group, but I really do believe in us. We'll find a way out, and who knows? Maybe we'll all get out together if we find a miracle.

[...]

Do you mind if I stick around for a bit, then? I can grab you some different food, if you want. [Beat.] And...maybe some ice for your face, how is that doing...?

[like she punches like a twig, but. may as well ask.]