into each breaking wave

[thisaroma]

[ Well, that was — no pun intended — unfortunate. ...But in light of what they already saw happen the first two weeks, maybe it's not really that surprising, either; and maybe it's at least a little easier to recognize when something is going to be a lost cause, if not necessarily to accept it.

In spite of everything, this is the first time Decus has been in a halfway decent mood after a trial, which he can gather is... probably not the case for most of the rest. So he figures he can take on the party host duties for this week rather than push it onto someone who needs a break. Anyway, he wants to keep up this feeling-okay thing for as long as he can, and if he has too much downtime and starts to think about what happened a week ago today... he might end up a little less okay.

So, he brings some food down to the buffet from the cafes for a little variety (even though most of them probably aren't going to be too picky at this point), along with some tea and cocoa from Starbucks and a few harder options from the bar, and gets that all set up in as welcoming an arrangement as he can manage. And...

Well. Despite how he may come off sometimes, he actually is self-aware enough to realize that some of the others might not appreciate being reminded that he's still alive when three people who'd never had any intention of killing are dead. It doesn't really bother him, but he doesn't want to create unnecessary drama, either; so he doesn't put his name anywhere on the invitations he puts up around the place, just a simple:

food and drinks at the buffet

...Which is almost always the case, technically, this past week excluded, but hey.

And while he might come by to offer a drink or something to someone who looks like they need it, he's mostly going to hang back and let everyone do their thing. ]

Comments

[scythegun]

I believe you're right. The days may be resetting, but that doesn't change anything for us. We're going to have to keep looking, and hope we can find something that will give us an edge soon.

[Otherwise we're all going to die here. Let's try to avoid that!!]

[scouserer]

Personally, I'd hate it if I died on a cruise ship with a goddamn Margaritaville on it.

[But, then again, he could haunt animatronic Jimmy Buffett until the end of his days....]

What's kept you going all this while, mate? S'like, every time I see you, you've always got a smirk on your face.

[Well. Except for during Groundhog Day. But they won't mention that.]

[scythegun]

[The less said about Groundhog Day, the better!!]

I won't say I've been unaffected by everything happening here, because that isn't the case. I could claim that I'm following Sylvando's example, but that's not really the reason behind it.

The truth is I've already been through something horrific. Even the worst days on this ship aren't quite as bad for me, anyway.

[He's still smiling, but there's none of the usual sarcasm or flippant behavior.]

[scouserer]

[Constantine lets out a snort.]

S'that so? You must be doin' something better than me, because I sure as hell can't say the same.

[He sounds extraordinarily bitter, to say the least.]

What you went through must've been pretty shit if all this death and despair seems downright mundane.

[scythegun]

Let's just say I finally sorted myself out. I already hit rock bottom some time ago, so there really isn't anywhere to go but up!

[But he waves a hand at that.]

I wouldn't say it's mundane, though. I'm not trying to say that the people who are truly suffering here are wrong - because they aren't. This really is quite the awful situation we've found ourselves in, after all.

[scouserer]

You don't have to tell me twice.

[....]

I guess...the reason I just keep findin' myself at at rock bottom is 'cus I can't help but care about the people involved. Even as much as I tell myself not to.

[Every time, he has to just get attached, because being detached is not John Constantine's thing. He always gets pulled in too far, too fast.]

[scythegun]

I think that's a good thing, honestly. It means you get hurt more, yes, but...

[He hesitates for a moment, inclining his head a bit before lifting his shoulders a bit.]

For the past ten years, I haven't really cared about anything. I took over a guild - and then a second one - because I could. I made a lot of money so I had something to do with myself. I adopted twin girls and funded an orphanage because I had the means to, not necessarily because I wanted to help.

It's only now I'm starting to understand how difficult it is to care about other people; to really feel things as most people do. I've made a lot of mistakes in that time. I can't see caring about other people as a bad thing - compassion like that is its own sort of strength, I think.

[scouserer]

[Constantine idly swirls the liquid around in his whiskey bottle. He taps a finger against his chin as his brain struggles to come up with a response. As much as he wants to argue with Yeager just for the sake of being contrary and bitter...he can't come up with anything to refute what he says. So, instead, he just sighs and slumps lower in his seat.]

That's one way of lookin' at it, I guess.

[He takes another drink from the bottle.]

But it sounds like a lot of effort to go through for someone who supposedly has difficulty feeling compassion--adopting children isn't exactly something one does when they're bored, much less funding an entire orphanage. Unless it was tax breaks you were lookin' for.

[But, then again, he's only known Yeager for so long....]

[scythegun]

[It gets him to pause for a moment as he considers it, and then he shakes his head.]

I think, in some ways, it was easier to convince myself I didn't feel anything. Those girls are proof that wasn't entirely accurate.

[It's Complicated, in other words. It's still something he needs to figure out for himself, and it's going to take more character development for that to happen.]

Anyway, my apologies for dumping this on you, that was rather rude of me. I really do think you're doing just fine, though; and if I know anything about you, you'll find a way to get back up and keep going soon enough.

[scouserer]

[Feelings do be complicated, tho. It's like that!]

Heh. S'not like I had anything else to do other than watch this drivel and drink my sorrows away.

[He sneers at the screen. Paul Blart seems to be...having a bit of a crisis in the mall, to say the least.]

Thanks for the confidence, though. Even if it is unwarranted.

[He'll get up, yes. But he won't like it.]

[scythegun]

You're welcome.

[Shush, it's not unwarranted!! But for now he's content to let it go and watch this really dumb movie with you, since of course he's not leaving just yet.]

[scouserer]

[Constantine grumbles lightly, lapsing into silence as he stares blankly at the movie screen. About ten or so minutes pass before he announces out loud--]

This movie sucks.

[As if that wasn't apparent from the start....]

[scythegun]

[A beautiful ten minutes of Paul Blart: Mall Cop............ But Constantine's words get Yeager to laugh.]

I was trying very hard not to say it... but my, it really does. One of these days, we really do need to watch something more entertaining.

[And something that won't spiral into Depressing Talk With Constantine And Yeager.]