unknownseas | don't go breaking my heart

[Well. All that sure happened!

Brett hasn't done much for one of these post-trial gatherings thus far, but he's been trying very hard to be functional lately, and...well, the fact that so many other people aren't okay right now just makes that all the more important. So he'll go around telling people, or slipping notes under doors if need be:]

We're going to have some food at the bar, if anyone wants it.

- Brett & Joy

[It feels a little weird to have it there, but...let's be honest. He expects quite a few people will be passing through the bar of the own accord tonight. They may as well not drink on empty stomachs.

There's not a ton going on. Brett's figured out how to turn the light-up dance floor off - it seemed a little inappropriate. Despite being hosted at the bar, Brett hasn't actually set out any alcohol; there's tamagoyaki and a big vat of chicken noodle soup sitting on some tables in the middle of the room, as well as tea for anyone who wants a drink that isn't alcoholic. Everyone who does want to drink can serve themselves. Also, someone has draped a rainbow pride flag over the bar? It seems appropriate given who's throwing the party, at least, and he didn't really have it in his to stop Joy, so.

You're free to turn on some music, if you want. Brett couldn't pick anything out on the jukebox, it seems.]

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[It takes him a while to come to the door, but he will eventually; he looks like he's been crying, and he also looks like he's been trying not to, and his hair is falling out of its curls.]

Gaius - did you need something...?

[Gaius shakes his head and offers the tea.]

No, I merely wished to see how you were faring and if you needed anything. I brought you some tea, which… I hope is drinkable, actually.

[…he just looked at it again…]

I may have overdone it a bit with the honey.

[He accepts the tea anyway, whether overdone or otherwise; he barely glances at it before setting it down somewhere immediately inside the room and turning back to Gaius, where he looks for all the world like he might start crying again before just. reaching out awkwardly can he have a goddamn hug he knows this is weird but. please.]

[...

he cannot deny this kid a hug. It's kind of awkward in the way you'd expect from a guy who is far more used to hair tousling at his most emotionally available and generally just leans towards meaningful shoulder pats, but it still is a hug.]

[That is enough of a hug for him honestly, he never specified that it had to be great, just...that he sort of needed one.

...The whole thing is sort of awkward and "now what" once he stops doing that but.]

...Sorry. I... Sorry. About that.

No. No, it is entirely fine. It is understandable.

[...

He goes for the more familiar shoulder pat.]

[He will take the shoulder pat.]

I just...don't know what to do.

[...]

I hate her so much.

[...he nods.]

...I believe I understand why she decided to do what she did, but I will not say you are wrong to hate her for it. She did not promise me anything in particular, after all.

I can't keep doing this all the time. I've been doing my best, and I'm sorry that I'm just...like this all the time because I don't like it either, but I don't know what else to do.

[He's been trying, it's just a lot.]

I cannot blame you, truly. This is...

[...sigh.]

Well, it is far more difficult than war, at any rate. At least there are far less betrayals involved in that.

[Not to say there are zero, but...]

At least take solace in the fact that you are not alone. This is certainly weighing on all of us.

...I wouldn't want anyone else that's involved with the war with me to be here, but some part of me still wonders what I did. Why I deserve to be here, instead of anyone else.

It isn't fair, but I still don't understand.

You did nothing to deserve this, truly. It is simply the cruel whims of fate and some deranged megalomaniac that landed us all here versus... well, anyone else.

...

I know that the thought of some events simply being the result of random accident can be difficult to accept, but at the same time, it can be liberating, as well.

Do you think so...? I've never really had much reason to consider it such before.

I believe so, yes. It means that even though you carry the responsibility to navigate the whims of the world, it is not as though there is anyone or anything looking at you in judgment and deciding what you "deserve" to attain or to endure. It simply happens regardless.

...I don't know if I prefer that or not.

[Again, at least he's being honest about it.]

It just makes more sense to me to feel like I did something wrong. Something to deserve this.

I suppose it is difficult to imagine it that way if you have spent the majority of your life thinking otherwise. Nevertheless, I personally do not believe you have done anything wrong.

...It means a lot to hear that.

[He goes quiet for a moment after that's out there, though.]

I'm going to try to be all right. I don't know how well I can manage that tonight, but I'll do my best to keep going. Thank you for the, ah... The tea.

[It's a little amorphous with honey but he does appreciate the gesture?]

[He nods.]

You have done remarkably well, I think, given the circumstances. Take your time and get as much rest as you are able, and if you need anything else, simply say the word.

[It draws a smile out of him, anyway.]

I'll try to. Thank you.

You are quite welcome.

[he'll give another meaningful, fatherly shoulder pat before heading to leave!]

don't go breaking my heart

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