i am a cage in search of a bird

[crocodiline]

[ The figure inside the frosted glass snaps her fingers, and the glass falls away, sliding into grooves in the ground below. Inside, behind additional bulletproof glass, sits a woman, legs up on a transparent glass desk, absentmindedly petting a... whatever this thing is.

Say hello to your mastermind, everyone! ]

Hey there, everyone. Nice to talk to you in person - my name is Cipher, welcome to my city. Sorry I took so long to show up in person. No need to get up on my account - how about we talk business?

[ Let's drive. ]

Comments

[crocodiline]

[ And, as everyone brutally and entirely fairly attacks her hair: ]

... Are you all twelve? Look, I'm not actually here to make you feel sorry for me, but this is... you could at least stay angry instead.

[specialyellthing]

Oh, don’ worry, I’m furious. [relentlessly so…]

But I can’t ignore the comedy in this either.

[crocodiline]

Well, when this is over and you all murder me, as seems to be the way you've all been going for two months, you can do whatever you want with my hair. Sound fair?

[specialyellthing]

Not at all. There’s nothin worse I can do to it.

[crocodiline]

Ooh. Big woman. I'm terrified.

[specialyellthing]

You are hidin behind bullet proof glass.

[crocodiline]

Says the woman with the gun.

[sastruga]

Actually, as a teenager, it's pretty much my right to make fun of adults. Socially speaking, that is.

...And it does look very bad.

[crocodiline]

Well, it's for efficiency, not looks. Haven't exactly had a lot of company down here.

[sastruga]

You have mirrors, don't you?

[crocodiline]

These things stop being quite as much of a concern when you aren't trying to impress anyone. And I can't say I expected all of you to get so hung up on it.

[sastruga]

It's our first real impression of you... I'm not sure what you were expecting, really.

...You could monologue again, if you want.

[crocodiline]

I had a little more hope for all of you than you had earned, maybe.

[ A sigh. ]

I could, but who knows if you'd all absorb it or if you'd just be staring at my hair the whole time.

[capreelcious]

Naaaah. Dunking on you is way funnier.

[crocodiline]

Well, I can't say I haven't earned this, but it's...

[ She laughs a little, almost to herself. ]

Honestly, this immaturity is kind of nostalgic.

[capreelcious]

Nostalgic?

[crocodiline]

I used to face off against some real idiots. Domenic Toretto had the decorum not to get pissy about my hair - maybe something about throwing stones in glass houses - but the rest of his little family?

[capreelcious]

Ahhh, I see.

[ Well, not entirely. That name doesn't ring a bell. ]

Well, you can't have not expected somethin' like this with a buncha kids being thrown in here. Who's that Dominic guy?

[crocodiline]

Old news by now.

[honeyedtea]

As it stands, you're a bit too pathetic for me to summon up any anger, I'm afraid. You're like a wet dog that's been left out in the rain - how low would I need to sink to inflict cruelty on you?

[ .... She says, as if that's not exactly what she's doing right now. ]

[crocodiline]

And yet here we are.

[ She sighs. ]

Would you like to get back on track and I can answer the question of why I brought you all here, or do you want to keep at this for a while? I have time.

[honeyedtea]

If you wouldn't mind. It's something that's been troubling Mafuyu and myself for some time now.

[ forget everyone else's existential crisis, i guess ]

[crocodiline]

It's simple, really. You were the next round of Founders. I was channel surfing universes when I found one where Frank Fontaine's plan went through and he killed all of us. I popped in, took some notes... and then poached you.

[honeyedtea]

[ After a moment... Mielle nods to herself. ]

Yes. I thought that might be the case. A world where Fontaine got his way and you were all long forgotten. It must have stung to see it, after what he did to you.

[ And yet she sounds so smug about it... ]

Did you take us from that New Rapture, where we'd already become Founders, then? Is there something we're forgetting, just like the others had?

[crocodiline]

Oh no, not quite. Put you in a ruined version of the same city you had just thought you were in charge of? Please. I took you all from .01 seconds before he did.