unknownseas | I have died every day waiting for you

I have died every day waiting for you

[That was, in Rose's opinion, even worse than last week. Any loss of life is an awful waste, but for it all to come of some horrible accident...

This week, she doesn't retreat back to her room. She knows now that the people here, or at least enough of them, like to gather after these experiences. Many of the Crystal Gems were the same way; she remembers their post-battle huddles well. It's not a party, really, but...it's good to be together. To have friends around. Maybe, to remember those who were lost.

So this time, she'll go to the cafeteria herself and request some food for everyone. It's just basic snacks, the kind of human food she knows well enough to ask for. There's some hot chocolate provided, too. She definitely knows people enjoy that. It doesn't take too long, since she isn't making most of it, and then she goes to invite everybody she can find.

She doesn't slip any notes underneath doors, for the people she doesn't happen across. Some Crystal Gems didn't join the groups, or maybe did after one battle but not another. Sometimes they wanted to be alone. She never really understood that...but it wasn't her place to tell them otherwise. Weren't they all about freedom?

Everybody probably knows something like this is going to happen again, anyway. It's their choice to come.]

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[Zerinda arrives at the gathering earlier than she did last week and with none of the fussing and extra wine to share. She sets herself up on the far side of the dining area with a cup of hot chocolate, wrapped in her green cloak and rolling the cup between her hands instead of drinking it with her legs restlessly bouncing against the underside of the table.

It doesn't take long before she abandons her drink and leaves, making a beeline for the second floor sewing room. She's only spends a few minutes in there, finding exactly what she needs right where she left them, then going back downstairs into the women's restroom where she stays sequestered for quite some time.

Eventually she does rejoin the party wearing fresh clothes, a more relaxed if exhausted expression and missing several inches of hair. It's not enough to be noticeably shorter but it does have less volume now. She's back in her previous seat, cold hot chocolate in front of her. Princess the Nug is at her feet nibbling on a bag of snacks and in her lap she has a mound of bright blue fabric that she's halfheartedly hand sewing.]

[ What's up, Zaza. Mira's here, too, with... huh. Those dyes look familiar, right? She's got a few colors, because honestly, if she works up the courage to do this, she's not sure what to go with. ]

Oh-- hi, Zerinda.

Mira-? [She has a pair of large silver scissors in one hand and a few sections of ribbon in the other but still stops to wipe her red rimmed eyes with the back of her hand.] Hello, what are you- Oh! My hair dyes!

[ Yeah... yeah, her eyes are pretty red too. ]

Oh-- [ She takes a closer look at the hairdyes, and she blinks. ] Oh, it does make sense that they'd belong to you. Do-- Do you want them back? I have a lot more in my room, and I wouldn't want to use them if you'd rather have them.

No, no, no, it's fine. I take it you got them from the vending machine? [She approaches her and sets down the scissors and ribbon on the sink.] I might ask to snag the red at some point but you're welcome to use them as much as you like.

Mm, I did.

[ She nods. ]

Of course... Actually... you can have them all back, I was just thinking...

[ She's got some of that dusty pink. ]

There's no better time to change things up... right?

Great minds think alike. [She smiles, just a little grimly, and glances at her scissors.] You should do it. Pink would be a lovely color on you.

Maybe you're right. I should.

[ Hmmm.

She looks at the scissors, too. ]

Would you like me to help you? I'm not the best at cutting hair, but... I imagine it's difficult to do it by yourself.

I wouldn't say no to a bit of help. I've done it a few times myself but, [She looks at the sink, a little embarrassed.] One of my mothers usually insists on doing it for me if I ever complain about my splitting ends. You know how mothers are.

And I can help you with your hair. It's an absolute pain trying to get the back by yourself.

Of course. We can help each other.

[ It gives her something to do, at least. ]

... I really appreciate it, Zerinda. Thank you.

I'm happy to help, Mira. [She slips behind her, picks up the dusty pink dye to crack it open and cracks open the jar.]

You want to know the nice thing about these? I made them specifically for my hair color so you won't even have to worry about trying to wrestle with doing terrible things to it to get a good color.

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[ It does take some time, but Della shows up at the gathering. She's visibly tired, but she's here! And...approaches Zerinda. ]

Is...this seat taken?

[Zerinda looks up from her sewing project, brightening a little when she sees Della.]

No, no, have a seat, Della.

[ She does, quickly. ]

What are you making?

You know, I have no idea. [She sighs and shoves her needle into the fabric again.] I think it started off as a skirt? Or maybe a bag. I've lost the plot a bit with it.

Who are you making it for?

No one in particular. I just...needed something to do with my hands, you know? Keep myself busy. [From the floor Princess squeals for attention and Zerinda reaches down to rub her ears.] How are you holding up, Della?

[ Della glances at Princess. She hasn't introduced herself to this little friend, has she? It makes her hesitate on the question. Or at least, that's what she'll say. ]

...I could be worse.

[Princess, like her mother, is always down for new friends and raises her head to try and get a curious sniff of Della.]

...Me too if I'm being honest. This time, it was...I don't want to say worse because the first time was horrible but it was harder.

It was different. It was...a different kind of pain.

[ Yeah, go ahead and get that sniff in, little buddy. Della reaches out a hand. ]

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Can I ask what you're making?

[It's 100% like witchcraft to her. Like, she knows how to sew a straight line with a machine, but that's the extent of her craftiness so hand-sewing is some wild, arcane stuff.]

You know, I'm not entirely sure. [She gives a small, tired laugh.] grabbed it from my room because I needed something to keep my hands busy but I've already entirely forgotten what I was going to do with it. It'll probably just end up being a nug dress at this point.

Yeah, I know the feeling. You start doing something because you need to be doing something and then you realize you weren't paying attention to where you were going.

Yes, that's it exactly! And then you start over and figure out what you were trying to get at and then an urge to do something else hits you because what you're doing isn't what you want to be doing anymore and you just feel like you're being pulled in ten different directions.

It's the worst.

[She laughs, even though it's a little strained.]

Pretty much. It's happened to me a lot, especially when I'm trying to avoid things I don't want to think about. I've kind of gotten used to it? But it's not fun to figure out how to deal with all the trauma.

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