What I want to hear on nights I can't sleep is your voice

[philoxenia]

[ ... Well, that was an absolute shitshow, wasn't it? Instead of dwelling on how she feels about everything that just happened, Mira's channeling that energy into something else--and she has a little bit of help doing it. Zerinda and Ema are here in the bar to make drinks, and Mira's brought in a ton of food that's definitely not healthy for anyone, but screw it, who cares about health right now?

Della's here to pass out invitations, too--they let everyone know there's a gathering in the bar, if they'd rather not be alone.

If you choose not to come, well... Mira's got that taken care of, too. She'll place a little container of cookies and hot cocoa outside your door. Maybe it'll help someone feel a little less alone--at least, that's what she's hoping. ]

Comments

[drladysounds]

It depends on the person! Some feel really happy, others feel so sad they break down. Others just black out.

It's tradition for some to make competitions about who can take more before someone backs down! Fierce displays of endurance that only the biggest fans of these things enjoy.

[hardnosed]

So you're saying you don't just poison yourselves for fun — you have contests to see who can poison herself the most.

[ tragically, she's not not into it ]

[drladysounds]

That's pretty much it. What can I say, we're weird like that.

[Humans as a species need to learn self-preservation. On the other hand, that's what led to how we're right now, so who knows, maybe they shouldn't learn it]

[hardnosed]

That's an understatement.

[ She looks straight ahead, her eyes distant — certainly not focused on Shelley, at least. ]

How much death had you seen before all this?

[drladysounds]

[Shelley hesitates for a moment -- but she can trust Jasper, maybe...so...]

Way more than I should. Maybe a dozen times.

[She has never killed someone, unless you count running over the Devil with a bulldozer]

I myself have died two times already and escaped death half a dozen more. It's...not uncommon in my life.

[hardnosed]

—wait, really?

[ It doesn't square with her image of Shelley, or, rather, her idea of who Shelley's supposed to be. ]

But that's not possible. It's not like you can just poof and reform.

[drladysounds]

Of course I can't. It's not like it was instant. I was dead for a month, the next time it was just a couple days.

[The first time she was brought back by necromancy, the second she made her way out of the afterlife on her own]

I don't even know how to explain it! I just can't seem to stay dead.

[hardnosed]

Ridiculous.

[ The thing is, though, that she doesn't actually disbelieve her now that she's said it. ]

Do you remember anything that happened in between?

[drladysounds]

Only from the most recent one. The first time is just so blurry.

[Maybe of because how long it was, she supposes]

Why are you asking about death, anyway?

[hardnosed]

Why do you think?

[drladysounds]

I dunno. I just dunno.

[Shelley leans on the bar, a finger going in circles on the surface on one of the booze battles[

You don't seem like the kind of person that'd be bothered by death. To be asked that all of a sudden is not what I expected.

[Part of the reason why she wonders what was up is because it's Jasper of all people asking it, really]

[hardnosed]

[ She scoffs, quietly. ]

Death doesn't bother me. I figured it might bother you.

[ This technically answers one question, but raises a far more important one. Since when does Jasper care to know about anyone else's feelings? ]

[drladysounds]

That's really considerate of you!

[Shelley chuckles tiredly]

Well, it does bother me. Even if I have seen people die before, it just doesn't get any easier for me.

[And, despite precedent, she really doesn't want to die again. She can't know if this time it'd be permanent]

[hardnosed]

Don't call it that.

[ Weakness, she thinks. She's seen death from the moment she came out of the ground, and it taught her lessons that can't be quite embedded during the incubation process. Weak Gems die and strong Gems survive, and part of being strong is feeling nothing when the inevitable happens. If you carry useless sentiment, if you let it drag you down, it'll destroy you just as surely as a physical enemy. How can humans live so close to death and still let it harm them every time?

... which is totally different from her self-appointed duty to crush Rose because she killed someone Jasper never even met 5,000 years ago! That's honor and duty and it's completely rational. ]

I asked a question, and I got an answer. That's not consideration.

[drladysounds]

Let's call it checking on me to make sure I'm not having a breakdown because if I did then I'd be bringing down the group.

[Seems like a compromise -- asking such a question to make sure she wouldn't be a hindrance]

[hardnosed]

... sure. We can’t afford any more weakness and infighting.