What I want to hear on nights I can't sleep is your voice

[philoxenia]

[ ... Well, that was an absolute shitshow, wasn't it? Instead of dwelling on how she feels about everything that just happened, Mira's channeling that energy into something else--and she has a little bit of help doing it. Zerinda and Ema are here in the bar to make drinks, and Mira's brought in a ton of food that's definitely not healthy for anyone, but screw it, who cares about health right now?

Della's here to pass out invitations, too--they let everyone know there's a gathering in the bar, if they'd rather not be alone.

If you choose not to come, well... Mira's got that taken care of, too. She'll place a little container of cookies and hot cocoa outside your door. Maybe it'll help someone feel a little less alone--at least, that's what she's hoping. ]

Comments

[philoxenia]

... I can't exactly blame him. If he couldn't get out of here alive, he wants to make sure someone he loves does.

[emberserker]

It must be nice to have someone like that you can trust around.

[philoxenia]

It is, but... I don't begrudge anyone who'd rather keep that trust locked up tight.

[emberserker]

As you shouldn't. Sometimes people you're supposed to call friends or family will turn on you for their own benefit.

[philoxenia]

[ .... oof. ]

Not everyone would, though.

[emberserker]

Perhaps. But if you're surrounded by those types of people, then you have to be that way yourself or perish, don't you?

[philoxenia]

[ Holy shit. ]

Not everyone here is willing to forego trust, you know.

[emberserker]

I'm saying it because it happens! Even when people say they've got your best interests at heart, they're still going to hurt you. And then there's what just happened here.

[philoxenia]

I know that!

[ She's getting worked up again-- ]

I learned that firsthand just before I came here, but if I don't believe in the people I've gotten to know and care about here, I won't be able to keep going forward!

[emberserker]

You --

[Anna holds her letter to her chest. She tenses up and finally shakes her head.]

...Even if they hurt you, then?

[philoxenia]

[ She draws in a breath, and wraps her arms around herself. ]

.... I don't know. I won't-- If that's how someone wants to protect themselves, I don't know if I can say anything about it. But I know if I suspect everyone, it'll only lead me down a path I'm not sure I want to take.

[emberserker]

...very well. I'm only saying this because you'll probably be hurt otherwise. Life can be very unfair, and what you think the world is may turn around on you.

[philoxenia]

.... I'm aware.

[ .... and, you know, since Anna did bring it up at the trial-- ]

If I weren't, I wouldn't have shown up here covered in blood that first day.

[emberserker]

You mean to say it was something similar?

[philoxenia]

Yes. Because I trusted the wrong person, he hurt someone I love.

[ ... the way she says that, the way her voice catches, it's a lot more than just hurt. ]

And then he tried to do the same to me. Only one of us is still breathing.

[emberserker]

...Wanting to still love people after that, I'm not sure I can understand it. But you did what you set out to do. You should get to.

[philoxenia]

... Maybe it is foolish... but I've been alone for a long time. [ She takes a deep breath. ] Terrible as this place can be, it's given me something I've never had.

[ ... ]

But I meant it when I said I wouldn't begrudge anyone for not wanting to trust. To keep themselves safe and protected. I might not agree, but... in the end, who am I to judge?

Still, thought--you're not alone. I hope you'll remember that.

[emberserker]

[Anna seems taken aback at that. Still, she thinks for a moment and folds the letter up.]

I won't disturb you further.

[philoxenia]

Anna....

[ ... ]

Alright. Take care.