hey mom, dead mom, i need a little help here

[nothingcanstop]

[ ...All of that happened, huh. That's the sentiment each and every week, and it's no different this time. Except, this time they've lost more people than before. Five.

The gathering invitation is slipped under everyone's doors, but it specifies something a little different. ]



[ That's a good two hours or so of difference. Enough time to wander around, for sure.

But, in the garden, at the appointed time, there's a variable arrangement of fresh-cooked food. A good amount of beef stew, some Chinese hot pot, and...watermelon? Just, an absurd amount of watermelon, cut up and set on plates. All the food's set on tables that seem to have been moved from the library, and the ground is littered with blankets, for those who don't want to sit on the grass.

And yes, she did not lie. There is, indeed, a variable fuckton of alcohol. (And coffee, for our underaged.)

This has become routine. But, we're still here. We're still alive. ]

Comments

[nothingcanstop]

...Can I... Can I ask...why me? Why...do you think you can trust me?

[ What makes her so different, or...something like that. ]

[fivestagegod]

Am I wrong in thinking so?

[nothingcanstop]

I just... Well. Not to be, uh...Rose about it, but there's a lot more reliable people here than me.

[ WOW SPEAK ILL OF THE DEAD MUCH??? ]

And...much bigger, and stronger... ...Smarter, that's for sure. Oh, no, I do sound like Rose.

[fivestagegod]

Holy shit. Yeah, you kind of do.

[That... Okay, today has been the worst but it actually does get him to laugh a bit, quietly, goddamn.]

If you want me to be blunt about the whole thing, Della, it's because when you've done this sort of shit for as long as I have, you get really used to seeing who's trying to help you and who's trying to sell you something. You have never once tried to sell me on the idea that you're anything other than what you are. Even when I don't agree with you, even when I don't like it or don't get it. You just do whatever it is you're going to do. It's consistent, and it's honest.

[...]

...Besides, maybe I just like you. Feelings are the worst.

[nothingcanstop]

[ LIKE, WE BOTH FEEL AWFUL BECAUSE ROSE'S LETTER WAS JUST SO MUCH THAT RIGHT? WE FEEL AWFUL FOR MANY REASONS, BUT THAT IS ONE OF THOSE REASONS. ]

What can I say? What you see is what you get. [ She seems to take this as a compliment. ] At the end of the day...I guess I am pretty straightforward.

[ ... ]

I am pissed, okay? I'm not happy with...any of this. But I'm too... Maybe it makes me selfish, or bad, but... I'm too tired right now, not to take all the friends I can get.

[fivestagegod]

[ROSE'S THAT IS HONESTLY WHAT PUSHED HIM OVER THE EDGE TONIGHT, ON TOP OF ANNA'S THAT AND ROSE'S OTHER, UNRELATED THAT

TODAY WAS A SHITSHOW AND HE HATES IT but at least he seems to be calming down, at least.]

Honestly, I think that's probably fair. And I didn't tell you this to make an enemy out of you, either.

...This whole thing's doing shit to my head. Has been since we got here.

[nothingcanstop]

[ It feels a little wrong to do so, but...settling back into an exhausted routine? Yeah, that's good. That's needed after all today has been. ]

That's a broad way to put it. What kind of shit?

[fivestagegod]

...If I yelled out everything I just yelled at you every time I was having a bad day and fucking...Mabel next door asked me for the millionth time how her petunias look, I would've been arrested a long time ago.

[Just saying.]

I can usually keep myself together better than this. Even in high stress. People don't usually matter all that much to me, either. I don't know, it's all kind of a lot.

[nothingcanstop]

...What you were saying to Anna. About something feeling different. You were...speaking from experience...weren't you?

[fivestagegod]

[...You know, he would normally just decline to answer this, but first of all this is Della, whom he has never been great at saying no to, and secondly...well, there was all that aforementioned yelling he just did. So either part of him really wants to discuss feelings today (unlikely) or he had damn well better discuss the feelings because it's only right after all of that.]

...Yeah.

[nothingcanstop]

[ She almost didn't like...make that a question. But, presuming and assuming, it... It's something she's getting a little tired of. ]

You don't... You've said a lot on it already, alright? You don't have to go into it.

[fivestagegod]

[Has he ever seemed good with feelings when left to just sort them out on his own...]

If you've got questions, you can ask. You know I usually don't stop you.

[nothingcanstop]

[ ...oh, god, that's true. ]

Yeah... You really don't, huh. [ Is she just realizing this? ] ...Honestly, every question seems stupider than the last, but... ...When did you start actually...start thinking about some of the others like this? Start...missing them?

[fivestagegod]

...Good question.

[It's actually something he doesn't really have much of an answer for, if he's honest; give him a moment.]

Ema kind of screwed me up unexpectedly, but I don't know if I'd say I miss her. It's more like it hit me all at once, I'd rather have them here than have their stupid letters. I don't know.

[nothingcanstop]

I mean... If it all just hit today? It's kind of hard not to look at what Rose put down and not get...hit. [ If your letter is anything like hers, at least. ] ...If there's a chance it'll turn out poorly, we...want to get our thoughts down. But, all it leaves everyone left with is a big pile of regrets.

[fivestagegod]

Yeah, pretty much. I'd be lying if I said I'd never written anything like that, even. But it wasn't for any of you.

[nothingcanstop]

...Is it weird that I haven't? I mean- not even when I was stranded. I kept recording video journals, but I...deluded myself into thinking my family would receive the transmission. I just refused to believe I wouldn't be getting back. Here, too.