FINAL INVESTIGATION

[bathymetric]

Morning comes on Friday, just like any other.

Or not. You're all still alive. The walls have held. You all have held.

One way or another, this is the last day you're going to be in here. You've spent so long at the whims of the man who owns this place, so long playing along with this game...

Wouldn't it be nice to beat him?

Time to investigate.

Comments

[bathymetric]

[ You can take the low shelves, Della!

First off, there's no indication any of this has been touched in a while. Not since Cass took over for sure. ]

[nothingcanstop]

[ No one wants to take from the low shelves... What kinds of books are on here? ]

[bathymetric]

[ The low shelves are mostly books of maps or reference materials - there's no thesaurus app on the tablet, I guess. ]

[nothingcanstop]

[ Maps, huh... Well, looking in an atlas got her something good before. Della's going to check all of them!

...And probably not put them back where they were, because she's just like that. ]

[bathymetric]

[ Stuffed into one of them is a memo! ]

[nothingcanstop]

[ This always pays off. Snooping? Definitely good. Always snoop, kids.

Gimme that sweet lore. ]

[bathymetric]

[ It's a copy of a memo: ]

Memo to: [REDACTED]
From: Professor [REDACTED]

While your refusal to turn in the requested materials until the very deadline so as to force my hand on these is something I can respect as what my students might term a “power move,” I do have a few notes on them, provided below. There will be no further discussion on the matter.

Approved: The Huntress, The Clairvoyant, Icy-Hot, Green With Hunger, Spicy Red Baby (reluctantly), Ace Scientist, Blockhead, Shark Bait, Blood of Askr, Bookworm, Tauros-Head, Skunkman, The Tsunderrorist, Starlight, Illeagle, The Ball, Dodger, Hotshot, Prodi-G, Casanova, Bog Witch

Changes:

- You cannot just call her “Holy Fuck It’s A Duck.” Changing to Moon-chaser, something at least a little dignified. Honestly. Sometimes I wonder how you became my favored agent.
- “Murder Priest” gives away too much of the game. Changing to Perish Priest.
- Regarding the dragons. I would argue we spare them the indignity of calling them “Saint MILF” and “Saint DILF,” terms I think you have quite wrongly assumed I am not familiar with. The first one doesn’t even make sense, I’m changing it to The Archbishop or something. As for the latter… surely I’ll think of something before the experiment starts. I am not saying the word dilf in front of captives.

[nothingcanstop]

[ ................................................

First of all. Della's eyebrow twitches, because distinguished? ]

Oh, fuck you, sir. [ ...Wait, he's not- listening to the- it's fine, she'll have other times. Second of all. ] What a coward. If I had to explain it, he could've at least said it.

[ Muttering. Grumpy muttering. ]

[philoxenia]

[ Oh, hey-- She'll kneel down, arms around her knees. ]

What did you find?

[nothingcanstop]

[ Della will just. Pass the memo over. ]

Proof that he's a crowd-sourcing piece of...ugh.

[ ...DELLA HAS JUST REALIZED SHE CAN'T? SWEAR IN FRONT OF MIRA?? IF SHE INTENDS TO BRING HER HOME WITH HER??? THE BOYS CANNOT BE GIVEN POTTY-MOUTHS. ]

[philoxenia]

[ listen it's fine. you can say a curse, it's fine.

She takes the note, and as she reads it over..... ]

This is--

... Well. I guess he didn't find a different title for Seteth.

[nothingcanstop]

Lazy. Slacker. Underachiever. He'll never amount to anything.

[philoxenia]

We should rub it in his face when we finally meet him.

[nothingcanstop]

Oh you better believe I'm going to rub something in his face.

[ if only she had pepper spray ]

[philoxenia]

I wouldn't mind making use of another one of those airhorns...

[ ... ]

I hope the others are doing alright. Angel and Cassandra, too.

[nothingcanstop]

[ Della nudges Mira comfortingly. ]

I know. But we just gotta trust them. Alright?

[bathymetric]

[ That's fair.

There's one more thing here, actually, while she's messing with the bottom shelf - something behind the books in the back corner. ]

[nothingcanstop]

[ Alright, grumbling aside. Let's see what this is. Della moves some books, and by moves I mean shoves them aside. ]

[bathymetric]

[ Looks like a can of spray paint. It's really dusty. ]

[nothingcanstop]

[ ...She shakes it. Does it sound like there's anything left in it? ]

[bathymetric]

[ Nope. ]

[philoxenia]

[ If we can tell the color.... is it the same as the graffiti in that room she found? You know. The Hell Room. ]

[bathymetric]

[ Seems like it's red! ]

[nothingcanstop]

[ A killjoy even now. ]