And with the sweat of your brow...

[bathymetric]

Fun Fact: Did you know that if the multiverse is real, there could be an almost infinite square mileage of completely unexplored ocean out there?

No reason.

...

You wake in one of 25 rooms with a sense of unease that doesn't quite track with how nice the accommodations are. Maybe it has something to do with the giant window leading out to the sea. The temperature is low, which might make you wish you had woken up under the luxurious covers instead of atop them. The lights, too, are low. But next to your bed is a small personal radio, and it's playing a song for you. There's also a small note printed on folded cardstock next to it.

Dear Prospective Citizen,

Welcome to the Helios Suites at New Rapture. The time should currently be 12:00 PM. Please take a moment to get your bearings and become acquainted with your new environment, then meet in the hotel lobby at 1:30 PM sharp for an orientation with Mayor Fontaine.

With only that for guidance, there's only the one thing to do: get out there and start exploring... well, it's hardly a full city, but it's something! And in the halls (or on the wall of your suite or the lobby), you very well may find up to 24 other captives.

What you do until your meeting with Mayor Fontaine, well... that's up to you. Every room certainly gives you something to talk about.

Comments

[dullshooter]

Charming, resourceful, great at parties...

[And taking the piss.]

[fuckingguy]

I was actually referring to the fact that you are an automaton of some kind.

[ Whether or not he knows when the piss is being taken, there is no chance in hell he's not going to just respond with complete sincerity! Nandor only jokes when there's a 75% chance that it won't land and he'll stand around awkwardly waiting for a laugh that never comes! ]

[dullshooter]

Oh, right - the elephantbot in the room.

[He says that like he's only just thought of it.]

I'm a cybertronian. Which is to say, in easy cross-cultural language, a robot alien to you guys. Of course, you're all fleshy aliens to me. I don't think anyone's thought I might be finding this weird too.

[fuckingguy]

Probably because you have a big metal face, so nobody knows what that expression would look like. [ He looks thoughtful for a second. ] Is this the Arena 5-1?

[ Far from easy cross-cultural language, nothing he's just heard is comprehensible to him! Hopefully that's a fair exchange for the fact that nothing he's just said is comprehensible to anybody! ]

[dullshooter]

[Luckily, he finds that more funny than offensive. How dearly he wants to put this guy in a room with Spinister. Either they’ll come out best of friends or dead.

…come out dead? That’s not right. You can’t come out of somewhere dead. You’d be dead.

End up. End up best friends, or dead.

He returns to the conversation.]

Er - isn’t that supposed to be in the desert? Unless you don’t mean area fifty-one, and are actually referring to a tackier, underwater sister location that’s called area five-one. Then maybe, yes.

[fuckingguy]

Okay, you are the one from there, you tell me. All I know is there was some big drama over the American government hiding secrets from the peasants a couple of decades ago, so...

[dullshooter]

The American government is definitely hiding secrets. No question about that.

[You only need to visit Earth once to know that.]

As the newly appointed authority on the subject - apparently - I’ll say that we’re not in Area 51, and if we are, I’ll eat my foot. We good on that?

[fuckingguy]

Please don't actually eat your foot. You will require assistance getting around, and we cannot afford any casualties. But yes, if you agree to that, then we are "good."

... Should we do introductions? I mean, you already said mine, and I can clearly read yours.

[dullshooter]

[He really does just take everything literally. Incredible. Truly incredible.]

Hm, no you're right, I think we're pretty much done there.

[He's ready to sign it off, until he remembers-]

Wait, I'm missing one crucial bit of information! Why do they call you 'the Relentless'?

[He has his hunches with the '200,000 descendants bit, but...]

[fuckingguy]

Oh, eh... normal reasons. Mostly because of my relentlessness with pillaging.

[ he truly is just going to admit this shit with minimal provocation unless he is directly told that someone thinks he isn't human, huh ]

[dullshooter]

Ooh, pillaging. Tell me more.

[He’s chinhands-ing, at least spiritually.]

cw it's what we do in the shadows medieval war crimes

[fuckingguy]

Not much to tell, really... I mean, you pillage one village, you've pillaged them all. [ Waving a hand dismissively-- ] Not literally, of course, but you understand what I mean. Mostly you got a lot of fire, a lot of trampling... lot of screaming peasants.

Continuing on with the above

[dullshooter]

Right, yeah, of course.

[He also waves a hand dismissively.]

But surely there’s some memorable exploits in there, right? ‘Top 10’ pillaging moments?

[fuckingguy]

[ And, for no apparent reason, a shadow passes over his face. It's clearly not because of the atrocities he's committed, since he was just so blase about them! ]

Iiii am kind of tapped out on pillaging stories at the moment.

[ Is that all he is ever going to do, even in an underwater hotel with whatever the fuck a Cybertronian is? Recount the same tales of his exploits over and over again into eternity? Pathetic. ]

[dullshooter]

...Fair enough. I imagine it must get pretty old after the first hundred or so years.

[fuckingguy]

[ This utterance, somehow, starts as a low sigh and turns into a: ] Yes.

[ And then, either because he realizes he's just openly admitted to being hundreds of years old (it's not this, this hasn't even occurred to him) or because he assumes Misfire doesn't give a shit, he starts walking away. ]

Anyway. I will see you in, eh, thirty minutes or some shit.