THIRD TRIAL

[bathymetric]

[ Two bodies this week. As a result, it's a little longer before Mayor Fontaine's voice calls out over the loudspeakers. ]

All right, that'll do, all of you. Get to the bathyspheres. Trial time.

[ There's fewer bathyspheres this week, aren't there? It's starting to get really noticeable. One by one, alone or in pairs, you descend into the depths. The bottom of the seafloor, a place no human life was meant to travel to unassisted. It's dark, until it isn't, the same bio-luminescent slugs as before lighting up the area and revealing the great glass dome in which the trial takes place.

Within, three more podiums have gone dark. They remain empty as you all gather around into the circle.

The projector clicks on, and you see the silhouette of Mayor Fontaine above you. ]

We all know why we're here. Florida Man and Cryptobro got themselves got. Up to you to figure out who did it, or... well, you know by now.

[ Welcome to your third trial. ]

Comments

WHO SAID LOVE COULD EVER BE LUCKY AT ALL, BABY? (hagakure body evidence)

[bootyhunter]

[Dandy arrives in the trial room, his pompadour at half-mast, looking pretty disheveled overall. His face is surly and that foul of mouth of his twisted into a thin line, and his own slinky frame is covered in pink blood from the neck downwards. It's all over his shoes, pants, and shirt in messy streaks. There are handprints on his slacks on account of... Him wiping his hands off on them?! Disgusting. For any particularly observant characters, it will be obvious that Dandy's signature necklace is no longer on his person, and stacked alongside the alien hunter's non-functional communicator bracelet are Hagakure's prayer beads.]

Alright.

[He steps up the podium with his Dandy game face on.]

I'm not really down to beat around the bush today, baby, so... Here goes.

He had five big-time boo-boos, the bonehead!

[is he really serious is he serious right now?! he is butt i also am writing space dandy. just one time i would like to play a character who speaks normally!!! anyway]

Two stab wounds on either side of the chest, and three in the stomach. Whoever went for it really freakin' went for it. Seems like when they were goin' all stabby-stabby, they weren't really tryin' to get a clean hit, just a lot of 'em. They also left him there to bleed out all over the floor. Classless piece of shit! At least put him outta his misery fast enough? Fuck! Anyway.

When I looked at his face, I...

I saw somethin' kinda freaky. Same kinda deal was all over his hands, too.

[He neglects to note how wretched he felt. All the sentimental and emotional beats- This is not the time or place, and there is also another body, whom he wishes to be respectful towards. Dandy is not one to grieve or weep openly, as he's been around for long enough that tears, especially of the non crocodilian variety... Are hard to come by.

He certainly cried today.

But at least for now, Dandy has managed to wipe his face dry.]

I'm no doctor or nothin', but I spend most of my time back home on a crusty old spaceship that's gettin' up there in age. Which means I've seen my fair share of blow-ups and gas leaks- This looked like kinda similar. Almost like he'd been hit by shrapnel, but there was nothin' lodged in any of those places.

Weird!

[Dandy then runs his dirty hands through already tousled hair.]

Oh, and uh... One more thing.

[Dandy wrinkles his nose at this. It's clear this fact in particular bothers him a lot.]

His hands had that purple stuff on 'em, from the... Eh.

Plasmids? Power-ups, those things. Before I could get him to stop actin' like an idiot, he stabbed himself with one of 'em, so I know he's been messin' around with those abilities all week. He picked the one that gave ya ESP.

And, uh... Finally, Or what-the-hell ever?

His hair looked like it just been on fire. Trust me! I would know- Turns out hair gel is pretty dang flammable, baby.

[hotpaprika]

[Jonathan looks at Dandy, looking at him with sympathy and sadness.

Quietly, he gives him a sandwich and a hot cup of tea.]

Here, it's not much but you should eat something.

[bootyhunter]

Are you kidding me with this bullshit?

[DANDY, NO-]

Not now, man! We've got a double homicide to get hoppin' on.

[Dandy growls, but he will take that sandwich and tea and set it down nicely on the podium. Excuse him for being grumpy, he's not used to being this overwhelmingly devastated.]

I'll eat later.

[hotpaprika]

[Jonathan looks

Genuinely hurt.]

I-I'm sorry, I just-

[Never mind he's returning to the podium. Dandy doesn't need him after all.]

[bootyhunter]

[Dandy isn't really down to deal with Jonathan's self pity right about now. He's trying his best to be sensitive as it is, and it's only making him angrier. With a surly, disgruntled expression, he blurts out:]

Look, I get that you're worried about me, baby.

But if it's alright with you, I'd like to keep the sappy-sap crap outta the room- On my end, anyway.

[Watch him shoot himself in the foot with this later.]

I just wanna figure out whodunnit and get to cleanin' up, capeesh?

[He is literally covered in his boyfriend's blood...]

[hotpaprika]

...I understand.

[His voice is dull. He can't let his emotions into this.]

[bootyhunter]

Don't worry, Jonny.

[Dandy says these words ever so gently, unknowingly dealing another killing blow-]

This isn't about you.

[OUCH THAT SHIT HURT ME TOO?! WTF]

We're still good, I'm just...

Really out of it.

[hotpaprika]

No, you're right, we should focus on the trial. I'm sorry.

[He doesn't really believe his own words, but he didn't want to risk Dandy being more upset at him than he already is.]

[allatonce]

Dandy.

[She smacks him lightly. Don't be rude to Jonathan.]

[bootyhunter]

[He barely responds, seeing as he is absolutely not in the mood.]

[allatonce]

[Well. At least he took the sandwich.]

[sastruga]

Eating improves your mental acuity and short term memory, both of which are necessary for solving this case.

Now is exactly the time for you to be eating, Dandy-san.

[specialyellthing]

Aw, Sparkles, lay off. He’s sad about his friend.

[sastruga]

Everyone is sad every week. Yelling hasn't helped once.

[allatonce]

I mean. Yelling is kind of how we figured out it was Hodaka.

[sastruga]

Ah, should we start taking turns, then? Yelling at each other until it forces a confession?

[allatonce]

Beats standing here for six hours while everyone pretends to play junior detective and ends up at the same place.

[The yelling's entertaining, at least.]

[hotpaprika]

While it could work, I do not think we should just be pointing fingers at each other. We do not want a repeat of last week.

[He gently looks at Mielle. He doesn't want to outright mention her meltdown but like... it wasn't good!]

[buriedstar]

Who was the sociopath again?

[inaclearing]

I don't...think it was.

[Brett doesn't really want to be involved with this, but as a guy who was kinda at ground zero for the Hodaka thing...well, he sure wasn't yelling at the boy.]

[allatonce]

Right about when we all started yelling is when he started really going into shock.

[She shrugs.]

So it depends on what you think would have happened otherwise.

[bootyhunter]

[Dandy says nothing to respond to Mafuyu's aggressive caring, at first.

But the facade flickers, for a brief moment in time. For that split second, it's easy to tell from the way his lip wobbles and how his eyes move that his heart is in tatters.]

I'm sorry, sweetheart.

I really can't do that here.

[bc guess who he has meals with mostly

hagakure and joy]

It'll bust me wide open.

Can we not? For right now.

I swear I'll stuff my face when we're done.

[sastruga]

[...She sighs a bit, not truly exasperated but more putting on a bit of a show of it. She nods, at least.]

Well, that much I can understand. So long as you take care of yourself after this.

[It's the Mafuyu Stamp of Approval.]

But, if you start snapping at everyone attempting to look out for you... this will be a very long trial. I think a lot of us are worried for you right now.

...We'll just do our best to get to the bottom of this quickly.

[bootyhunter]

[Dandy hesitates, speaking softly, so as to not invite any critical onlookers. His voice wavers in a manner that sounds almost unlike him- There's no resolution in it.]

I'm not doin' so great, Mafufu.

[BUT AT LEAST HE'S BEING FUCKING HONEST, CAN WE GIVE THIS TOXICALLY MASCULINE "HOLDING IT IN IDIOT" A ROUND OF APPLAUSE!!!!!! GOD]

When I tell ya I'm tryin' my best...

I mean it, I swear.

[sastruga]

...Mm. I know you are, Dandy-san.