Captain on deck

[bathymetric]

At the stroke of midnight, amidst the burst of dozens of colorful lights in the sky, the device in your pocket rumbles faintly with a reminder to head down to the theatre. You wouldn't want to leave your captain or first mate hanging, would you?

The doors have finally unlocked, and as you head in, you find... a rather nicely decorated little theater. The red curtains obscuring the big screen draw back, revealing three simple words in huge font.

Have a seat.

As soon as everyone is seated, the lights dim, leaving the group in almost complete darkness until the big screen flares to life. Jaunty music starts to pour in through speakers surrounding the room as the big screen plays clips of grand cruise liners sailing through sunny tropics.

"Atlantic Liners," says a voice, slightly automated to a discerning ear but definitely male. "We look to the future while remembering the past. That's why even our top of the line ships carry that nineties charm while having the best luxuries money can buy."

How charming and debonair. But isn't this commercial trying to... sell you on a cruise you're already on?

"Hey there, passengers! It's me, your lovable captain of the SS Swift. How is everyone doing tonight on this fabulous New Year's day?"

Is the voiceover referring to you? Well, that just raises further questions.

"I'd like to take a moment to thank each and every one of you for joining me tonight as we cruise through these lovely Atlantic seas. And to welcome you all, not just to our eventual destination in the Bahamas, but also..."

The screen flashes, switching from soft sunsets to harsh, burning flames.

"To your doom!"

One second passes. Two. Three.

"...Your doom!"

Has it been a minute? Does anyone have a watch?

"Your doo-Okay, that should have been cue for the ceiling-mounted flamethrowers. Why are they not charbroiled by now? Can you tell me that much? No? Fantastic. You're useless."

A sigh, clearly frustrated. Without a speck of that earlier charm. The lights in the theatre rise back to clearly visible levels. 'TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES' pops up on the big screen with a picture of a monkey wearing a hard hat next to a burning television.

"Okay, this is just as awkward for me as it probably is for you, ssssso! Questions? Concerns? Anyone tried the margaritas yet?"

Comments

[scythegun]

Nope!

[But more importantly—]

Are you actually Davy Jones, because that sounds like what the Captain was implying with those rules and that is fantastic.

[WELL NOW THIS CRUISE IS INTERESTING.....]

[leaveittomother]

If he is then things have are just gotten a lot more interesting.

[scythegun]

Right? It could still be a costume, but I want to believe they really did manage to get the actual legend himself.

[we have some kind of fairy god queen on board, so like, why not.]

[leaveittomother]

Considering who my daughter is, I wouldn't doubt it'd be possible. He's famous enough to be a Heroic Spirit.

[scythegun]

I'm not sure Davy Jones would qualify as heroic, but I'm assuming that a "Heroic Spirit" is something a little different?

[sivard]

What, really? That's who he is?

[scythegun]

The new rules refer to a "Davy", so that's my hope, anyway!

[sivard]

Whoa. And here I thought Eizen was pulling my leg.

[scythegun]

One of your friends? What did they say?

[hellahighwater]

—What? No, no way, that's all just made...up...

[ Chloe, reevaluating the last week of her life. ]

Holy shit, I just called Davy Jones Calamari Jim.

[scythegun]

...That is a fantastic nickname, honestly. Maybe he'll let you keep calling him that!

[hellahighwater]

Hahaa, okay I've done some stupid things, but I'd rather not get on the bad side of actual Davy Jones when there's nothin' but water as far as the eye can see.

[ Young Chloe, aka Captain Bluebeard, is probably crying right now. ]

[scythegun]

Well, I suppose you could try apologizing?

[rip chloe...... it was nice knowing you......]

[hypnowhip]

Davy Jones...?

[I'm sure Erdrea has an equivalent but I doubt it's Davy Jones exactly. Probably.]

[paucipan]

[+1??? oh god what the fuck is this, this has to be some kind of human thing]

I've certainly never heard of anyone going by that name before...

[scythegun]

Haven't you heard of Davy Jones' locker? You know, the bottom of the sea and all that? Davy Jones himself is some sort of myth, I've heard he was once a great dread pirate, but the story differs depending on who you ask!

[not to be confused with another pirate named aifread, of course.]

[onlyyoucan]

First teleportation, then nobody's idea of reality matches. Now the Captain's employing a myth?

[scythegun]

Well, why not? Things are already so strange, ja? Might as well go all out with it!

[hypnowhip]

Well, I've certainly heard of something similar. So he's this world's equivalent...?

[It's hard not to sound at least a little intimidated, given Davy Jones' entrance... But this wouldn't be the first great dread pirate he's met.]

[ahelpingpaw]

...wait, Davy Grump?

[Oh. Oh, no. Filbo swallows. He better show respect to Davy, then -- not that he planned to be disrespectful! But still, you don't mess with him]

Oh.

[Looks like Filbo knows a little about a variant of Davy Jones]

[scythegun]

[omg that's such a cute name...]

So I see he has some different names! Yes, it does seem like he's the man from the legends!

[ahelpingpaw]

I mean, I don't really know much about legends and stuff, but I know enough to be aware you don't mess with him.

[...]

So that's why the Captain would bet on him over anyone else in case of a fight.

[thekeyofsea]

Indeed I am. I'll be the ferryman for you all on this little voyage.

[ Finally, someone who recognizes him!! ]

[scythegun]

Pleased to meet you! It really is an honor meeting such a legendary figure!

[This might as well happen, his life clearly wasn't weird enough before.]

If you don't mind my asking, are you also going to try to kill us?

[thekeyofsea]

[ welcome to his Good Books, yeager ]

Kill ye? Nay, I be the one set forth with the task of watching over you. Though if ye toe too far over the line, I am that line that'll snap ye up.