Fourth Trial

[bathymetric]

[ After the evidence (and what a large batch of evidence it is, this time) has been gathered up, after actually patiently waiting a longer time than usual to make sure everything's been grabbed, the speakers over New Rapture crackle to life. ]

Time's up, everyone. You know where to go.

[ The lower number of bathyspheres, as you descend, is starting to become really notable, isn't it? The descent is the same as ever, lower and lower into the sea. The bioluminescence of those slugs on the ocean floor is almost brighter today, somehow, and some of them have even crawled up the cliff face around you as you pass them.

The dome approaches, slowly as ever, gleaming red in the darkness. The bathyspheres land in a row, doors opening one by one to reveal the familiar sight of the trial room, three more podiums now darkened. ]

Take your places, ladies and gentlemen. You've got a doozy of a situation to discuss. Ass Man and Silver Fox are dead. You know what happens if you can't figure out whodunnit.

[ Welcome to your fourth trial. ]

Comments

[hotpaprika]

... I do not need anyone to coddle me. I know how you feel about me.

[asymptotes]

And you're clearly fine with it. So nothing will change, because you won't take action. Not can't. Won't.

[ He shrugs. ]

I do not think you're any more useless to this game than you make yourself. Don't mistake pity for anger. Every moment, you choose this.

[hotpaprika]

What do you want me to do?! [Jonathan suddenly cries out.] Every attempt I've made at doing anything to help it ends up backfiring! The meetings never helped, people I care about get upset at me when I try to help, and every time I've tried to get help from the outside I get nothing but apathy.

I cannot even keep my own promises of keeping my emotions in check! I've tried so hard to keep myself from being useless but it never works!

[allatonce]

[not to be rude but:]

It's your attitude. Like, the meetings are helpful but because they're not helpful in the exact way you want them to be, you think they're a failure. You just kinda, like, freak out every time something happens that doesn't align perfectly with your perception of things which is a super rigid way to be. If you loosened up a little, it would probably help.

Cw suicidal ideation in action text

[hotpaprika]

So I am the biggest issue...

[He doesn't want to say "I'm better dead than alive" again but it seems plain on his face.]

[allatonce]

That is... not what I said, dude. Like at all. I'm saying that you have great idea, but you get so fucking caught up in everything going to the little plan you have in your head that you act like an asshole when things go a little bit different. It's a matter of changing your reactions, not you being the problem.

[asymptotes]

People get upset at you. Others fail you. You put too much stock in their opinions. If you're drowning and no one offers a hand, or can offer a hand, you swim or you die.

So swim, Jonathan Harker. Stop waiting for others to rescue you and see how far you can get on your own. You may surprise yourself.

[howveryglib]

Are you truly acting like the meetings are useless? I would prefer you did not talk so openly about them here, but if you are concerned that they have not prevented any deaths, then everyone else here is as useless as you are.

[...that last bit is a bit angrier than intended. perhaps he touched a nerve...]

[inaclearing]

[Still impassive:]

That's true.

[daimakaicho]

[ Okay, Hild has to disengage from the Jonathan stuff because she's getting unconscionably pissed off, so Brett's continued impassiveness gives her a good exit avenue. ]

You've been a big help with the meetings, too. I'm not sure they'd be nearly as organized without your note-taking skills.

[howveryglib]

Indeed. It is quite important to gather all our information in one place so we are all aware of our findings and where we stand.

[inaclearing]

...thank you. Both of you. I...

[He rests his elbows on his podium, putting his face in his hands for a moment to let out a long, shuddering breath. He's been very quiet throughout this entire discussion. Part of him feels like he should intervene, try to help Jonathan in some way, but a larger part of him is afraid that if he touches it...

...well. He doesn't know if he can keep on listening to that sort of thing.]

I'm okay. I just - I'm okay.

[daimakaicho]

[ It's a good thing she's his podium buddy, so she's able to put a hand on his shoulder lightly, more than willing to pull it back at the first sign of him not wanting it. ]

It's okay if you're not, you know. It happens to the best of us. It's hard to be able to predict how people will react in these sorts of situations.

[ This is... weirdly affectionate for her? But she doesn't seem to be bullshitting, at least. ]

[inaclearing]

[He'll accept it.]

I really don't know if it is.

[The most not-okay person around is Jonathan, and look at that. Brett doesn't think that's what would happen, but he...doesn't think he can promise to be functional, either. Better to simply not be anything.]

We need to focus. I am...fine enough.

[daimakaicho]

[ She gives him a once over, her violet eyes narrowing for a moment, but nods and pulls her hand back. ]

You're right. Let's do what we can, then.

[hotpaprika]

[That actually reaches him for once.]

... I

Suppose it's hard to gauge who lives thanks to the meetings...