And we're all adrift together through the cold mist, 'til we're lifeless together

[dokkalfheimr]

[The preparations hit differently this time.

Last weekend was at least an attempt at being festive, even with the light supplies they have; at being joyous, at giving people at least one nice thing to look back upon before things inevitably took a turn for the worse. And now two people are dead, and instead of trying to figure out structure placement and how best to keep everyone entertained and occupied and well-fed, the preparations now are given to much more practical purposes.

Large amounts of bottled water from the machine. Bagels and bread and muffins, light starchy things to avoid forcing anyone to keep meat or seafood down after seeing a corpse. Fruit for the sake of providing energy. Avoiding including bananas for any reason. Quietly pulling aside one of the first people she sees with any experience in the matter and asking them to help her make tea.

Once she's got one of the tables at the party zone set up and the tea is on its way to being prepared, she'll set around letting people know; the invitations are simple, written in Freyja's broad, elegant handwriting:

I think another gathering tonight would be beneficial. Not to celebrate, but to remember; perhaps more importantly, to ensure that no one is alone if they don't want to be.

Tonight is hard. There is nothing further to do but get through it.]

Comments

[ahelpingpaw]

[It's curious. Filbo Fiddlepie seems like such a marshmallow, you'd think he'd be moping and crying and maybe locking himself away.

But no. Instead he's out and about pretty quickly. He's not as upbeat as usual, but he's out there. Filbo doesn't break down when things get real ugly -- he bottles it all up, only leaves his regrets out, and just...gets introspective.

It takes him a while to go to the gathering Freyja organized, though. The first thing he does is go outside, to the deck, where Carmen had died. Filbo leans on the railing, watching the sea. He's trying hard not to think about how the creature that ate Shard was probably right there.

Still...if someone approaches, Filbo says something that seems a little out of the blue:]

Disappearing forever seems like a kinder fate than dying, you know? Knowing someone's dead feels so final. At least if you never see a person again and you never find out if they're alive or dead, there's always a chance they're out there doing whatever they can with themselves.

[That's kind of grim, really. It may come as a surprise something so grim comes out of Filbo's mouth. But at the same time, there's that almost evergreen undercurrent of optimistic thought Filbo tends to have.

Still, he can't just not go to something Freyja is hosting. Even though he's feeling pretty down in the dumps, he attends the gathering]

...thanks for being here. I know being among other people at a time like this is tough, but that you're here, well, it says a lot about your strength.

[He doesn't say it because it's his gathering, it's 100% Freyja. He says thank you because he hopes it can help others feel even a little bit better. Even at the worst of times, there's him, trying to at least help others feel a little lighter. It's clumsy, and he's by no means somebody experienced in providing counseling of any sort, but at least saying something helps? Hopefully?]

gathering

[calx]

[ Oh Filbo. It's a nice sentiment but this is Albedo. ]

My strength has nothing to do with this.

[ahelpingpaw]

[Filbo can't help but grimace a little]

ReallY? Then what has to do with this?

[You seem pretty composed, Albedo]

[calx]

[ He is! ...I mean to be fair he has been this entire time here so it might be a little creepy at this point? ]

In regards to myself? Nothing. I don't see a reason to be upset or anything similar.

[ahelpingpaw]

I dunno if that's great or disappointing.

[But hey, anything that doesn't involve breaking down probably is good? Not feeling upset for any of the deaths or the trial or anything that had happened that day is one way to deal with it, really]

...but it probably is for the better. There's no time to be feeling down, you know? Not when this all is just getting started.

[Probably. Now that the Captain laid down the whole process, Filbo suspects he'll try to force them to go down there many times more, one way or another]

[calx]

[ He needs to think that over for a few seconds... ]

Yes, I can see why you might think that way. I mean no offense, regardless. [ At least he's aware that he's a little icy? Though with Albedo it's more like a rock because well, geo. ]

Indeed. Momentum having been established, the Captain will make a second attempt to motivate us. One success, even if it was not the result he wanted, makes that path easy for him.

deck

[scythegun]

[Oh, Filbo's here. Yeager came up here to go see if the crime scene's been cleaned up, but here's Filbo and... Well, that certainly is a statement, isn't it.]

Do you think so?

[He moves to join Filbo at the railing, looking out at the sea.]

I think there's some truth to that. Not knowing for sure means that you can assume the best - you can tell yourself whatever you need to in order to believe that they're still okay.

[Sometimes lies are far better than the truth, after all.]

[ahelpingpaw]

[Filbo exhales sharply. Uf, the way Yeager worded that hits a biiiiit too close to home]

That's right.

[Emotional escapism by imagining someone else is surviving out there even if you never see them again, yaaaaaay]

Those two aren't gonna return home and nobody will find out the truth of what happened to them. Maybe they'll think they just went into hiding or something, or that they just decided to leave everything behind and do something else. I dunno if it's for the better nobody at their homes finds out what exactly happened to them.

Not that there's a way to let anyone know, anyway.

[So yeah, he's really aware he's pretty much punching the emotional sandbag for no reason because it's not even helpful to himself, yet he still is doing it]

[scythegun]

[Listen, sometimes you've gotta.]

There isn't, no. I doubt the Captain would have any interest in letting them know, and I doubt Mr. Jones has any say in it.

[As for whether Davy Jones would even care... ehhhhh it's still a toss-up on that one, but let's pretend he would.]

It certainly won't be easy for their friends and family, but I do think it's a mercy that they don't know what happened here.

[Trying to explain it would be ridiculous to begin with, much less ending it on "your loved ones died because of an accident and the Captain's real eager to get people killed".]

[ahelpingpaw]

[Yeah, no. There's absolutely no way the Captain would care in the slightest. It's clear as day -- he didn't even care to watch the trial, if everything he said was any indication]

...Yeager, can I ask you a kinda personal question? I have been trying to decide how to feel about something now that people started dying. I kinda need the input from someone who knows what's like to be in charge of something.

[And while Freyja fits that requirement too, he can't bring himself to ask her something as rough as what he wants to ask now, given how hard the motive was hitting her. Yeager, on the other hand, was handling things much better, at least in Filbo's opinion]

[scythegun]

[That does get him to look over properly, inclining his head a bit.]

Of course, Filbo. What is it?

deck

[dokkalfheimr]

[Filbo is one that Freyja is deliberately seeking out, gathering or otherwise; once she feels she can leave everything to Flayn and Sylvando for a moment, she'll go look for him outside - less because she knows he's there, and more because if it were her, it's where she'd go. She checks the lower decks first; she isn't sure what to make of where she finds him. She'll come and stand nearby, and just...vibe for a moment.

All of that, though... It's a lot, isn't it.]

Perhaps so. There are some circumstances where knowing is a greater burden than not knowing; things like that... I believe they're one of those circumstances.

[ahelpingpaw]

Yeah...I wouldn't know where to even start if I had to tell any of Carmen or Shard's loved ones about what happened.

[So it really may be kinder to conceal the truth, hm...]

[dokkalfheimr]

Neither would I - it isn't something I ever had to take care of.

[...]

Are you going to be all right, Filbo?

[ahelpingpaw]

It's weird...I feel I'm gonna be. I dunno, it's like...it hurts, but I don't feel like I'm gonna break down. Maybe it helps I never talked to Carmen at any point except during the party, and Shard, well...I got along with him.

[......]

W-Well, it also helps that it's...not the first time I have to mourn anyone. I guess when you go through that kinda pain, it leaves you numb one way or another.

[dokkalfheimr]

[She's quiet at that for a long moment. Staring out over the water.]

That depends on whom you're mourning, I think.

deck, cw: drugs

[hellahighwater]

[ Chloe's out there, lighting up her joint. She's a little antsy while doing so, and normally she'd just continue on her way, but— ]

...Excuse me?

[ It's...a little incredulous. Like, she can't believe he just said that. ]

[ahelpingpaw]

[Oh, goodness, he didn't expect to have to repeat himself. Half of what he said was just something that came to mind, so when he tries to get all those sentences ack again, they don't seem to sound quite right.

Instead he chuckles a bit nervously]

Oh, it's just me thinking aloud. You know, having to be aware you could have died today makes you think some funny things!

[As if that was an apology]

Today just brought some bad memories back to mind, that's all. It's...really complicated.

[hellahighwater]

[ She grips the joint tight, a box of matches loose in her other hand. ]

Yeah, I'm familiar. [ She's far too familiar.

There's something...cold about the way Chloe's speaking. ] You're wrong, you know. When you think someone's still out there, it just makes sit all worse. You start to get hope.

[ahelpingpaw]

Really?

[That was a far more straightforward response than he expected, admittedly. Chloe doesn't waste any time, she went straight to the core of the matter]

I-I know there's the uncertainty, but... [Filbo winces] ...something about finding out the truth is...is just so painful when it's not the truth you were hoping for.

[For example, he sure wouldn't know how to even start explaining to anyone who knows Carmen or Shard the circumstances of their deaths. As far as their loved ones know, they just went missing. Possibly that's all they'd ever know, and that may be for the best, no?

The uncertainty seems just so more comforting than knowing things for real]

[hellahighwater]

And what d'you want instead? Them to not know, forever? Just to be in denial? Just to keep on searching, making up dreams of the future, waiting? Waiting?!

[ Her hand trembles. She's looking out at the sea, not at Filbo, she can't look at anyone right now.

For six months, she yearned and hoped. Six months... ]

It's hell. [ Her voice shakes. ] It's the worst fucking thing that can happen to a person.

deck

[guffawsungraciously]

[Jasper doesn't respond for a moment at that. He leans against the railing, stares at the night sky and...

...]

To whom is it kinder, really? I would really prefer the certainty of what happened, myself.

[ahelpingpaw]

To...to anyone they knew. I dunno, I don't think Carmen or Shard's loved ones would take very well what happened. It's bad enough they're dead, it's worse that it was all...

[A ridiculous accident]

[guffawsungraciously]

Oh, they would not take it well at first, I am sure, but at the very least they would be able to move on instead of spending all their time dwelling on whether they died, they were trapped somewhere and needed to be found, or they just left them behind.

[ahelpingpaw]

When you put it like that it does sound kinda...kinda awful.

[He doesn't seem entirely convinced, but...he can't deny when Jasper says it lik ethat, it does seem like the uncertainty can be cruel]

I dunno what I'd want for myself, but what about you? Would you...want people to wait for you forever? Just in case you come back -- have a place for you and keep waiting for you?