unknownseas | FINAL INVESTIGATION

Good morning, passengers. You've made landfall.

The ship arrives at the shore of the island early in the morning, suddenly grinding to a halt for the first time in weeks. A ramp is lowered directly onto the beach, and The Captain almost immediately hops down it, laughing the whole while as he does. Jones stands on the ship, not following, and The Captain addresses you:

"Don't take too long! We have business in that lighthouse, you and I."

Without another word, The Captain heads towards a path on the beach that heads lighthouse-ward, but not before turning back again.

"And Jones! Head to your ship and ready the crew for when this is over."

Jones seems... not quite content to do this, whatever it is, but after a minute or so for any last conversation, he vanishes into a wall.

With both of your captors no longer on board, the ship is quiet. Its engines are stalled, the journey over. If you wish to survive the day, you're going to have to go onto that island and face The Captain once and for all.

But first... there are some areas you definitely haven't explored yet! If you're going to go in with all the information you need, might be time to take advantage of this situation...

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Yooooooooo well damn! Folder obtained, ya rebel! ]

[BWAAAA BWA BWA BWA BWAAAAAAAAA /airhorns

Anyway is there anything else to find on the desk here?]

[ Not on the desk itself, but in the drawer there's a personal audio recorder! And some tapes. ]

[Oh shiiiiiiit let's listen to that! Starting with the first tape, if there's any clear logic to them. Are they labeled? If not, he'll just pick one.]

[ There are a few!

- Title brainstorm
- Audio Diary 1
- Audio Diary 2 ]

[.....Title Brainstorm sounds fucking hilarious let's hear that]

Alright, I’m going to have to figure out something to call them? Apparently it’s a thing you do in this sort of thing, something about true names, blah blah blah, whatever. So! Let’s figure these puppies out so we can find out how to skin them - oh, yeesh, that is gross!

First up, the weird lady with the mutant fish things. Uh… you know what, we’ll start easy. the Oceanologist. Simple, classy - it’s, you know, I’ll come back to it once the brain juices are flowing more.

Alright, next up is Chalk Guy! Probably something better than that… something about his job too, maybe? Yeah, probably. #1 Elevator Attendant?

Alright, now for the first - how did we end up with this many robots and robot accessories, I swear - the one with the weird anger button shit. Uh.... pft, Danger Goose, yeah, that’ll work. Pretty sure that’s a game, or something.

Now this one, this one I like. I mean she’s super going to die for the greater good, but you know. Details! Anyway, let’s go wiiiiiiiith… hey computer, what’s the first few notes from the song about the blue chick? You know, the pirate one, with the discourse? I like her.

[ It goes on like this for a while. If you want any in particular, I can write them up, but it’s just a lot of Jack Being Jack in here, apparently! ]

[Sadly, Data being Data, he actually doesn't feel the need for most of the others! He understands where they all came from! Alice's was perhaps the one he was most curious about...

...also though. Scott.]

[ You know what, valid. ]

Alright, Scott Pilgrim, Scott Pilgrim... he looks kind of like, you know, that guy from the movie about that old social media network? Different hair, but... Michael Cera? Yeah, we'll go with that. See you in the movies, kiddo.

So it was as simple as that.

[A pop culture reference nobody got! RIP Michael Cera you are not remembered in Star Trek times.

Anyway, enough of that. Let's try the first audio log.]

[ Looks like it!

So the tape is broken up into tracks - looks like he left a few short recordings? ]

First… log, I guess? Ship’s ready for her maiden voyage, and looking better than ever! Sure as hell beats that floating lump of rotten driftwood that’s following me. Ah, just got to make a note to speak with the guys working on that little surprise in the theatre and- Hm? Oh, hey, Jones! I was just talking about you-

Bored. Don’t care to number these anymore. So! The flamethrowers didn’t work. That’s a bummer. I’m pretty sure foreman Jasper felt sorry about not double checking them, right before I hurled him off the boat. Anyway, plan B it is. Good old fashioned murder.

God I want some pretzels. Are there any pretzels on this boat? Hey! Jones! Did we put pretzels on this thing?

Captain’s log. You know, I love the suspense. Really. It’s killing me. But it’s not killing them fast enough. Now, I don’t care how many times we go back to New Year’s, it’s taking forever! You’d think a bunch of strangers might be able to get a higher body count every week? Ugh… Hm? Oh, hey. No, they’re still dying. Slowly, though. You got any ideas to, I don’t know, speed this whole operation along? ... Memories, huh? Gonna need some voodoo for that.

[Data arches his eyebrows. That explains Jasper, he guesses. On to the next one?]

Okay, pretty sure I’m alone. Just want to be sure. Now, I don’t want to say I distrust him, I always put faith in my work partners. We’re a team, and this treasure is going to be everything we’ll ever need. But goddamn why is it taking so long to show up? And why do you need to go back in time to bring it out anyway? I mean, I’m not a voodoo specialist but… well, that just doesn't make sense, right? He… he’s not lying to me, is he? ...Nah, of course not.

[ Annnd that seems to be it, both for the notes and for this room! Good job! ]

FINAL INVESTIGATION

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